This week has been a large one for Bachelor fans, with a little whoops-a-daisy meaning everyone now knows who the final two are. However, in the interests of enjoying the series as an artistic and subtly nuanced collection of emotional ups and downs leading to a perfectly pitched climax, I won't be spoiling.
Instead I'll focus on the episode, which let's be honest was the one we've all been waiting for. Zac headed to three of the whitest, middle-class, boujee homes you could hope for to meet the friends and family of the remaining Bachelorettes.
CLAUDIA
Finally with refreshed roots and a fresh tan, Claudia and Zac were reunited on the Auckland waterfront. In one of the more awkward interactions between two people ever on the planet, Zac was apparently dropped off several kilometres away and was forced to walk to Claudia. He couldn't even do the classic 'quickly-look-at-my-phone-and-pretend-I-haven't-seen-them-until-I-get-close-enough-to-say-hi' the rest of us would do in that situation.
Claudia and Zac went to meet her friends at a "little restaurant" she worked at "for a little while" - "so it's a big part of my life". Sounds character defining. Zac showed how little he gets out by thinking it was absolutely wild there was a possibility he had seen her in there before she entered a show to win his heart.
The only good thing that can be said for this interrogation was that Claudia's friends had some pretty sick shades which are immediately going on my payday wishlist. Otherwise it was suitably cringe worthy, probably just because Zac's not used to being on a date with several women at once.
Oh wait.
Zac must be so used to saying complimentary things about women as he says goodbye to them that I'm surprised he didn't tell them they were beautiful girls and they were going to make some man very happy one day.
More awkward questions about the age difference were asked by Claudia's family, who obviously haven't read my girl Verity's take on the matter.
Side note: Claudia's dad has the most superb voice I've ever heard. Get that man a podcast already.
LILY
Lily of course chose to bring Zac to her uncle's farm, so they could enjoy two of her favourite passions - wine and motorbikes. While the Road Safety Commission might not be stoked with the drink driving plug, it further cemented in my mind that when I grow up, I want to be Lily.
The date meant Zac briefly was out of his navy button down uniform, to sport the most 'white guy from Auckland' bomber jacket that has ever existed.
The two then went to see Lily's family in their casual split-level Wellington waterfront mansion that is the house Kiwi master building dreams are made of. Zac got to meet all of Lily's attractive and surprisingly boujee family, including a surprise visit from Lily's best friend. Me! Na jokes. Haha. Not bothered.
As Lily says, "your mother knows you because you come out of her uterus but your best friend knows all your weird and wild stuff." Happy Mother's Day everyone!
Over yet another lunch of bomb food and wine - my hungover soul aches for those sausage rolls - Zac impressed the friends and family, to the point Lily's mother invited him to stay in the spare room. He declined, but I have my bags packed ready to go, pour me a vino, I'm on my way to Welly!
VIARNI
Another bold outfit choice from Zac as he rocked up in the worst shorts I've ever seen. In one of the more awkward date situations, Viarni and Zac's afternoon was enjoyed in the presence of one of her incredibly attractive older brothers, Torrin.
God, so terrible. Look I'll take him off your hands for the afternoon guys. For the good of… the show. Or something.
The two did some sick stand up paddleboarding, because they were obviously on a date in the summer of 2014.
They then popped into Viarni's amazing Mt Maunganui family home, meaning another another platter, another bottle of wine. These families all are living the goooood life. Viarni's family put Zac through his paces, leading to a series of inspirational stalling tactics by Zac.
A chat between Viarni and her dad led to a dramatic storm off because of the overwhelming nature of him dating other women. Zac even got teary at the thought of hurting V, which led to a classic Kiwi male 'deep breath, turn away, slap yourself across the chest and pour a beer on it' moment. Another successful and unemotional interaction!
While the Bachelorettes may all be different people with contrasting personalities and appearances, if there's one thing this episode has confirmed it's that they all share one thing: whoever he chooses, Zac is going into a family unaffected by some silly housing crisis.
Newshub.
Watch the episode again on Three Now.
