Opinion: Dear Piers Morgan, stop being the argumentative old man nobody asked for

OPINION: Piers Morgan is eating humble pie, admitting he was "completely wrong" to attack Ariana Grande for leaving the UK following the attack on her Manchester concert.

The broadcaster has penned an open letter to the 'Problem' singer on The Daily Mail's website, saying sorry and trying to explain himself.

I thought it a good idea to write him one back.

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Dear Piers,

To be honest, I didn't know much about you until you voiced your opinions about the Manchester terror attack.

Obviously, I knew you were a semi-important, crotchety, old TV host. But I wouldn't have been able to name your breakfast television show, nor recognise you if you came up to me in the street and slapped me in the face.

Sorry that was a very odd analogy to use! Oh wait, it's yours.

You say you were, rightfully, very angry after the attack at Ariana Grande's Manchester concert which left 22 dead. Hey, we all were.

But rather than directing your anger at those behind the vicious, heartless attack, you also thought you'd throw some the way of the traumatised, 23-year-old pop star who was undeniably dealing with a significant bout of post-traumatic stress.

Firstly, thank you for spelling your open letter out in simple, mansplaining terms. As a fellow 23-year-old "sweet, pint-sized, baby-faced young woman", I also found it easier to understand with your simplified, point-by-point format.

Now please be aware, I'm giving you the attention you feel you deserve here, and I do have misgivings about it. But at the same time, I want to respond to your open letter as I feel that Ariana Grande won't - because she's pretty busy at the moment. Oh, and she also probably doesn't give a single f**k what an irrelevant old man thinks of her.

But I have a spare hour on my hands, so thought I would just tackle a couple of your points.   

"The truth is that you have made me eat my cynical words in quite spectacular fashion. You flew back to Manchester within two weeks of what must have been the worst day of your life."

What an about turn! You chastised her for not confronting the extreme trauma of the experience mere days after the attack, but then rapidly decide that she has flown in the face of adversity for doing so. You've also recognised that it was the worst day of her life. She'll be so relieved!

Similarly, you addressed that the 'One Love Manchester' benefit concert went ahead, despite there being another hideous London attack on the same weekend.

"You could have cancelled the event and gone home again. Nobody would have blamed you. Well, I might have done, but so what?"

Ariana Grande performing at her 'One Love' concert in Manchester
Ariana Grande performing at her 'One Love' concert in Manchester Photo credit: Getty

And there is the crux of it Piers. You see, what you're recognising there is the ability to think something, and not make it a nation's problem or debate. Your critique of Ariana Grande was not about her, or about the attack, but the chance to make this entire situation about you.

I guess I have to give you kudos for creating an entire narrative without the other party caring enough to comment. You've achieved your aim, I guess, because here I am on the other side of the world pretty enraged about it.

"I had you down as just another self-obsessed, millionaire pop star prepared to put her own safety before that of her fans. I seriously misjudged you."

Well you'll be thrilled to know, Piers, I absolutely did not misjudge you. I thought you were an irrelevant coot who took issue with a young woman not behaving in exactly the way you wanted her to during perhaps the toughest time of her life. And I was right! So at least one of us was.

"You're one helluva gutsy young lady."

And you're one stupid, entitled old man. 

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Sarah Templeton is a digital entertainment reporter for Newshub online.