This year's The Bachelor Australia has a different tone to every other season of The Bachelor I've ever seen.
Warner Bros has upped the comedy levels to glorious new highs - with truly spectacular results.
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Yes, there's still a wind chime sound effect at least once every 30 seconds and the music they add to the rose ceremony could easily be used in an apocalyptic action thriller.
But the drama is definitely not overly sentimental; it's instead pretty much taking the mickey out of itself.
Much of the comedy comes from the Bachelor himself, the lovable larrikin Nick 'Honey Badger' Cummins. The rugby star and pun machine brings his A-game to the reality TV show, triggering laugh after laugh with his remarkably expressive face, let alone his incredible one-liners.
"I'm as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs," the legend says at one point.
Brilliant!
He's also maybe the most Australian thing ever - up there with Ayers Rock, Alf from Home and Away, Crocodile Dundee and Steve Irwin.
They haven't even got him to cut off his massive mop of curls or shave off his moustache. They've just thrown a suit on him and chucked him into the show.
As different as Nick is, however, this is still The Bachelor. He uses the phrases "beautiful energy", "free spirit" and "energy healer" all within meeting just three or four contestants.
As amazing as his one-liners are, his expressing affection is much more adorably raw and unpolished.
"A bird who loves activities... that's my thing," he says at one point.
"Um, I like the fact that, y'know, your bubbly energy and all that sort of stuff," he told one lucky lady.
Nick is comedy gold, but not alone. Warner Bros has assembled around him an impressive array of interesting characters to spend time with - both interesting good, and interesting not so good.
Here's a rundown of this season's main characters:
The villain: Vanessa Sunshine
This young lady says her own name so many times, even RuPaul's Drag Race legend Miss Vanjie would tell her to tone it down. She takes to her role as villain with gusto, being as cold and superior as possible to the other girls - and even to Nick himself.
Moments after he introduced himself to her, she ran off, telling him to "come find me inside". Speaking privately to the cameras, she said she was "not thrilled" with how he looks, but wants to "leave him wanting more". Oh and she doesn't care for any of the other ladies, saying: "This is The Bachelor - not Make New Girlfriends".
Best entrance: Dasha from Russia
There were a few solid introductions, with the contestants trying to stand out from the rest. One marched up carrying a rugby league ball and an AFL ball, proudly claiming she had "a pair of balls". Others brought gifts and one brought in a pair of remote controlled boats.
Every entrance paled in comparison to that of Dasha, the personal trainer from Russia. Her way of saying hello included wrapping her legs over Nick's shoulders before doing sit-ups into his face and ending it all with a cuddle and peck on the cheek.
"Oh, wow... gee whiz!" Nick exclaimed - as did I, albeit without the thick Australian accent.
The wacky one: Cayla
Although she didn't fly in on a broomstick, Cayla was definitely stirring up some wickedness in a cauldron before arriving at the Bachelor mansion. The self-described 'energy healer' thought the best way to win Nick over was with a magical rock she very intensely informed him he must place on his bed as he sleeps.
Later, she told the other women about the importance of dreams and galactic families and alternate dimensions and chakras and auras and all that stuff. I think.
One of the other ladies tried to out-wacky Cayla by jumping into the pool while still in her gown and full make-up. It didn't work. No one is weirder than the energy healer.
Coolest cat: Cat
This 24-year-old fashion designer was definitely the coolest girl in all of her high school classes and boy does she know it.
"I reckon I'm a pretty good chick to date," she smarmily told the camera. "I'm young, I'm confident, I'm outgoing, I have my own business, like, I dunno. What don't you want?"
Her coolness took a few hits, however, when she created drama with one of the other contestants for having the unbelievable nerve to allegedly date one of her ex-boyfriends. Sure, these two women had never met before, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't be HUMILIATED IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, right?
Maybe Cat isn't so cool.
The creepy one: Cass
There were a few contestants with very limited chill, but none more so than Cass. She'd met Nick previously to The Bachelor and suggested they'd even gone on a few dates. Anyone watching the show will definitely know this, because she says it EVEN MORE INFURIATINGLY OFTEN than Vanessa Sunshine says her own name.
Fellow contestant Alisha thoroughly enjoyed the intensity of Cass and delighted in explaining it to the cameras.
"Cass is clocking Nick's every move. She's on the constant lookout for where he is... Everywhere Nick moves, Cass is there within eyeshot," observed Alisha. "God forbid if the bloke wants to go to the toilet - Cass will be following him in there too!"
She also said if Nick had any pet bunnies, he should lock them up - suggesting if he doesn't, Cass may prove her love in a rather gruesome way.
The winner: Brooke
Remember when Viarni and Zac laid eyes on each other for the first time in The Bachelor New Zealand season three? It was pretty obvious he'd pick her at the end of it all, no matter what happened. That indeed ended up being the case.
Well, Nick's Viarni is Brooke, a 23-year-old youth worker from Perth. If I had to bet on which one he'd pick, I'd definitely put my money on Brooke. They had chemistry for days, they have a similar sense of humour, she loves sport but didn't know who he was (just as he likes)... she's perfect.
"She's got a beautiful energy. It's different to the rest," Nick told the camera lovingly, adding he wants to explore her energy "a bit deeper".
Strewth!
...
This season is far from sewn up - all of the above characters made it past the first rose ceremony. Things have only just begun and the insane opening montage teased some absolutely hilarious scenes from future episodes.
The Bachelor Australia screens in New Zealand on Bravo at 8:30pm every Tuesday and Wednesday.
Newshub.
