Two weeks into The Bachelor Australia, tribalism has taken hold of the ladies and verbal warfare is being waged.
Cat, Romy and Alisha make up the mean girls squad, with wannabe villain Vanessa Sunshine their primary target. When others call them out on their backstabbing, that's when things get dramatic and nasty words are thrown.
However, object of all their affections Nick 'Honey Badger' Cummins is yet to say one nasty thing about anyone.
His ridiculously expressive face, wild mop of hair and extreme Australianness continue to charm and amuse like there's no holy tomorrow.
The cattiness in the mansion may be entertaining, but it's bog-standard reality TV content - Nick is anything but. He's comedy gold and surprisingly deep to boot.
Here's a recap of the highlights from this week's episodes.
Nick's best compliments
On Brooke: "She's pretty wise for a bird of her age - a grounded soul, a very real girl" with "awesome energy" and "some kind of peace that surrounds her".
On Cat: An "old shagger" and a "thinker not a stinker".
On Brittany: "Wise, with an older soul but she looks five years younger than she is" and "a beautiful being".
To his ball in footgolf: "Get going ya bastard!"
On Dasha: His adoring facial expression as she got him to pull waders over her, with a mostly see-through bikini to hide her modesty.
The kisses so far
Brittany scored the first pash of the season after a one-on-one date with Nick. He gave her a rose in the pool then romantically muttered "giz a smell" before moving in for the tongue wrestle. It was passionate and sweet.
Brooke scored a pash after literally tackling Nick to the ground. "Boof, right in the guts," he recounted later. "Landed me on me Gary Jack, I spun over thinking 'oh, that's actually a fair shot'." She then faked CPR on him before moving in to lock lips. It was refreshingly unromantic and natural, and she even exclaimed about being all sweaty at its conclusion.
Dasha scored a pash that Nick had been planning all day - learning how to say something sexy in her native Russian tongue for the occasion. Streuth, that's smooth mate!
Romy went in for a pash, hard - basically attacking Nick's face with her mouth. That triggered a few of his wide-eyed expressions and trademark surprise grunts, before he withdrew with a sympathy peck on the cheek. He also gave her a rose, which Romy proudly placed between her breasts when arriving back at the mansion and loudly boasting to everyone in the neighbourhood that she was the first one to snog him. It caused tears.
Cass also got a sympathy peck on the cheek after bringing maximum awkwardness with her super intense diary recital.
Most awkward chat
Cass took the cake with that diary scene, for sure, but Vanessa Sunshine was the clear runner-up.
Nick wanted to "expose the pearly whites" of this notoriously non smiley lady, which he did, but he barely got a word out of her. She straight-up said to him that she doesn't like humour, then refused to start any conversations after shutting his down a few times.
"Didn't look like there was a lot of chem flying about," observed Cat, who perved on the chat from a distance. She was right, as well as being a creep.
Best group date activity
Hands-down, the Hunger Games-esque archery battle was the winner. Nick's post-match interviews in his rugby career were legendary and he used that verbal flair in a pep talk with the ladies. They clearly didn't understand... then one of them shot him in the testicles. Well, just the left one, according to an apparently very observant Romy.
Most frustrating rose recipients
Cass's desperate nervousness is the least enjoyable thing about this show and it's clearly a turn-off for Nick. Maybe he's just too kind to kick her out this early, but he really needs to rip that band-aid off - for her sake, but more so for mine.
Vanessa Sunshine also managed to stay on the show even after she showcased less charisma than a plank of wood in her first decent one-on-one with Nick. What gives?
Nick didn't see how Romy behaved after their private date - but surely one of the other girls will mention her lies to him. And surely he'll then understand more fully the sort of person she is and send her packing.
Notable exits
Wacky Cayla broke protocol to pull Nick outside and tell him who the bad girls were. He uncomfortably humoured her for a minute, but when she tried to tell him who the good ones are he literally closed the car door on her. We all know she secretly took him outside to take a few strands of his hair to burn with salt at home, before burying the ashes for five days then consuming them while chanting ancient wisdom.
Steph was the first grumpy exit. She complained about shaving her legs and matched out without a hug. "Fair enough," said Nick.
We've had 10 ladies leave the mansion so far - but seriously, these are the only two worth mentioning so far.
There's 15 left, most of whom viewers would probably be able to name now. So maybe the next rose ceremony will be worthy of the Armageddon-level dramatic music that plays over it.
The Bachelor Australia screens in New Zealand on Bravo at 8:30pm every Tuesday and Wednesday. It can also be viewed on ThreeNow.
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