Amanda Bynes has broken her silence about the drug abuse that led to a string of public meltdowns culminating in the derailment of her acting career.
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In Paper Magazine's annual 'Break The Internet' issue, Bynes explained how depression, drugs and a distorted self-image were responsible for her spiral into a "really dark, sad world".
Now "almost four years sober", Bynes said she began smoking weed at 16, having spent her childhood as a star on Nickelodeon. She admitted to later experimenting with cocaine and ecstasy, but "definitely abused Adderral".
The 32-year-old says she "faked the symptoms of ADD" to get a prescription for the drug around 2007 - when she was starring in the movie Hairspray alongside John Travolta.
"I used to chew the Adderall tablets because I thought they made me [more] high [that way]," she said.
After a viewing of her last film, Easy A, she retired from acting via Twitter, a platform that she would go on to use to send hundreds of controversial and concerning tweets.
"I literally couldn't stand my appearance in that movie and I didn't like my performance. I was absolutely convinced I needed to stop acting after seeing it," she said.
"I don't know if it was a drug-induced psychosis or what, but it affected my brain in a different way than it affects other people."
After leaving acting, the She's The Man star revealed she would be "stoned all day long," and began "hanging out with a seedier crowd".
"I got really into my drug usage and it became a really dark, sad world for me," she said.
Between 2012 to 2014, the actress appeared in court on multiple ocassions on drug and alcohol charges and was placed under psychiatric hold.
Bynes' many notorious Twitter sprees saw her insult celebrities like Rihanna and Drake, ramble nonsensically and even make accusations of abuse against her own family members.
"I'm really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said. I can't turn back time but if I could, I would," Bynes said.
"And I'm so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me. It makes me feel so horrible and sick to my stomach and sad.
"Everything I worked my whole life to achieve, I kind of ruined it all through Twitter."
The former child star has recently been studying fashion in Los Angeles, and now plans to return to acting.
"My advice to anyone who is struggling with substance abuse would be to be really careful, because drugs can really take a hold of your life," she told the magazine.
"You could lose it all and ruin your entire life like I did."
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