On the most recent Married At First Sight NZ, despite having barely shaken off their hangovers from the lads' and ladies' nights, everyone's heading into yet another event.
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Expert Stephanie says all the couples need to "block out the noise of the group environment".
Easier said than done, Steph.
You've got everyone trapped in a Real Housewives-style nightmare in which their lives are nothing but endless glasses of Rosé and attending dinner parties with people they hate.
Jono and Ray
The fallout continues from The Big Ray Out - the time Ray came home drunk with Strange Man, having supposedly pashed a heap of other dudes.
"I apologise for the way I reacted when you were attacking me," Ray says to Jono, while mentally polishing his award for most passive-aggressive apology ever.
Jono doesn't believe Ray's claims he never cheated, but says he doesn't really care. Nor should he, because the whole thing has provided an opportunity for Jono to bust out some excellent one-liners.
"I've got no tears left to cry," Jono says, exuding big Ariana Grande energy.
"You lie like a rug, Ray," he adds. Stunning stuff.
The pair manage to arrive at the dinner party together, but quickly peel off to pursue their respective hobbies.
For Jono, it's talking about his feelings with everyone and anyone in a 12m radius. Ray opts to skulk off to what appears to be a specially-designed bitching room with James, where they scheme about how to take over the world. Or at least create some more drama.
Carmen and James
I can't decide what's more confounding: how quickly Carmen's ladies' night fight with Jono and Vicky escalated, or how she doesn't have puffy eyes after crying all night.
She was gutted after being accused of taking sides over The Curious Incident of the Literal Gay Man in the Night-Time, which now has James furious on her behalf.
"We're going into war," James says, over slow-motion shots of Carmen and Vicky each applying lipstick in a dramatic manner.
"I'm NOT crying tonight," says Carmen, with the determined air of someone who may well have run out of waterproof mascara.
War paint on, Carmen and James land behind enemy lines at the dinner party, launching their two pronged-attack on the bar's tequila supply and Vicky's self-esteem in one swift, coordinated movement.
Carmen executes a snub on Vicky with the cold-hearted precision of a trained sniper, leaving her hug-less and unforgiven for sticking up for Jono last night.
Meanwhile, James bulldozes through the situation with the subtlety and caution of an armoured tank.
When asked if he meant it when he told her to "go f**k herself" last night, he nods 'yep'. He apologises if she felt "under the pump", but then again, "that is his nature", so what can you do?
At ease, soldiers.
Christopher and Rose
Rose and Chis have grown tired of the constant partying, the endless drama, and most importantly, each other.
As the oldest couple in the experiment, and perhaps the one with the least chemistry - "not a glimmer", Rose clarified last week - they seem to be in need of a cuppa and a lie-down.
Chris has been caught out after saying Rose was just in it for the fame. Rose says she's actually dreading watching herself on TV, proving that not even the largest pair of statement earrings can shield you from the pressures of reality stardom.
"We've all been pushed to our deep emotions in this experiment," Chris sighs. It's of little comfort to Rose; but personally, I've never felt more seen.
Anna and Jordan
Having used up all her "scandalous secrets" last week when she dropped The Big Three - sex tape, semi-nude photoshoot, ongoing contract with the person who made the sex tape - Anna's looking for something new to divulge.
"I always keep so much secrets from you - I have another secret," she tells Jordan.
Gentle Jordan's wholesome heart surely can't take much more of this.
"Nevermind, it doesn't matter, it's not important," she teases, before revealing the big secret is - she's "really falling for" her husband.
This rather debunks Jordan's theory that Anna is a "unicorn" on the "Crazy-Hot Scale". That is, someone who's "over a nine hot and under a seven crazy".
Jordan has set Anna's crazy level at 5. Okay.
Vicky and Stefaan
As we all know, after the show it's the afterparty, and after the party it's the hotel lobby, where - if you're Vicky - James comes and swears at you and pulls the fingers.
Vicky's been left shooketh after James' outburst, which even expert Steph's calls "a shitty thing to do", before presumably dropping a dollar in the swear jar.
Done with effing and jeffing, the experts watch on worriedly as Vicky attempts to navigate the dinner party.
"She keeps touching her stomach and looking over her shoulder," Steph says. As someone who's constantly searching for canapes, this seems like normal behaviour to me, but everyone else is concerned.
On the upside, the tense environment appears to have had a positive effect on Vicky and Stefaan's distinctly lukewarm marriage.
"That was a real wrap-around hug, wasn't it?!" Steph excitedly observes of a rare moment of PDA between the pair.
"Yes, and it was received," says Tony, proudly.
Just when the stakes couldn't get any higher, Stefaan drops two huge bombshells. His favourite sex position is Reverse Cowgirl - help, I feel strange - and worse, he wouldn't be broken-hearted if Vicky walked away.
And with that strange mix of sexual confusion and despair, I bid you goodnight.
Married At First Sight returns on Tuesday at 7:30pm on Three. Previous episodes can be viewed on ThreeNow.
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