The Edge host Dom Harvey has vowed to start taking care of his mental health during an emotional on-air discussion about his fears and personal life.
The 46-year-old broadcaster said spending some soul-searching time alone over the summer forced him to reflect on some issues he'd been ignoring.
Working in radio for so long had meant he had developed a very thick skin, he explained, which turned out to have unintended consequences outside his job.
"This skin has got so thick, that I've lost the ability to be vulnerable and to be open... that vulnerability that I've lost, it's just been so hard and I've put walls up, and it's sort of spilt into my personal life as well."
Harvey added that there had been a lot of challenging moments in his life that he didn't feel he had been able to process.
"It starts with this tumour I had taken out which left me unable to have kids, I haven't addressed that. Jay Jay and I, we had a family adoption which turned a bit sour, and I haven't really dealt with that, and we ended up breaking up as a couple and I haven't really dealt with that," he said.
While the radio host admitted he was "petrified" to seek help, he was determined to figure out the root of his issues.
"I just don't like myself that much," he said.
"I can't stand to see my face in the mirror some mornings. I don't know why, because I've got a really good support group around me.
"Because of this way I feel about myself sometimes, I do dumb stuff that just pushes people away... giving me a reason to not like myself.
"I need to have some counselling or some professional help because I need to work out why I do this stuff. I've got everything anyone could want in life."
Harvey's co-host Megan Annear responded by pointing out that while he did have an "incredible life," he had been through some really difficult times that he'd had to share with the nation.
"I haven't been through half the stuff you have, let alone have everybody have an opinion about it online," Annear said.
"I'm shit-scared about getting counselling, I don't know where to start," Harvey continued.
"I've got walls that are so high up you wouldn't believe."
Harvey received an outpouring of support and encouragement from his co-hosts Annear and Clinton Randell.
"It kind of shocks me when you say you don't like yourself because Meg and I think the world of you," Randell told Harvey.
Where to find help and support:
Shine (domestic violence) - 0508 744 633
Women's Refuge - 0800 733 843 (0800 REFUGE)
Need to Talk? - Call or text 1737
What's Up - 0800 WHATS UP (0800 942 8787)
Lifeline - 0800 543 354 or (09) 5222 999 within Auckland
Youthline - 0800 376 633, text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat
Samaritans - 0800 726 666
Depression Helpline - 0800 111 757
Suicide Crisis Helpline - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Shakti Community Council - 0800 742 584
