Warning: The following article contains content some may find distressing.
British singer Duffy has penned a harrowing essay detailing several incidents in which she says she was drugged, raped and held captive by an unnamed man.
The 35-year-old pop star, full name Aimee Anne Duffy, first mentioned the alleged attack in February via her Instagram page.
Now, in an article on her website, she has recounted a horrifying experience which saw her travel overseas with her attacker, who she says raped her before later drugging her in her own home for four weeks.
"If you are reading this, I must warn you it contains information some may find upsetting," Duffy warns early in the piece, explaining she needed to share her story in order to "set herself free".
"In hiding, in not talking, I was allowing the rape to become a companion. Me and it living in my being, I no longer wanted to feel that intimacy with it."
Duffy wrote that she was drugged on her birthday at a restaurant, before travelling to a foreign country.
"I can't remember getting on the plane and came round in the back of a travelling vehicle. I was put into a hotel room and the perpetrator returned and raped me. I remember the pain and trying to stay conscious in the room after it happened," she wrote.
"I was stuck with him for another day, he didn't look at me, I was to walk behind him, I was somewhat conscious and withdrawn. I could have been disposed of by him."
The 'Mercy' singer said she thought about running away while the man slept, but had no cash and was concerned she'd be tracked down by police as a missing person.
"I do not know how I had the strength to endure those days, I did feel the presence of something that helped me stay alive. I flew back with him, I stayed calm and as normal as someone could in a situation like that, and when I got home, I sat, dazed, like a zombie. I knew my life was in immediate danger, he made veiled confessions of wanting to kill me," she continued.
Duffy said she was then drugged at her house for the next four weeks, but could not remember getting home. She said someone she knew saw her sitting on the balcony, staring into space, but did not know what to do.
"The person said I was yellow in colour and I was like a dead person. They were obviously frightened but did not want to interfere, they had never seen anything like it," she explained.
Duffy said in the aftermath of her attack, she didn't feel safe to go to police, fearing her attacker would kill her. She said during her grieving process she burnt her pajamas in the fireplace and cut off her hair, which had become knotted from not brushing it.
"Rape is like living murder, you are alive, but dead. All I can say is it took an extremely long time, sometimes feeling never ending, to reclaim the shattered pieces of me," Duffy added.
The singer, who took a hiatus from music in 2011, reassured fans she was now "free" and "felt safe now", and would not let the pain of her experience "cloud her life anymore".
She also thanked the public for their messages of support after she first revealed her story earlier this year.
"I can now leave this decade behind. Where the past belongs. Hopefully no more 'what happened to Duffy questions', now you know," she concluded.
Where to find help and support:
- Shine (domestic violence) - 0508 744 633
- Women's Refuge - 0800 733 843 (0800 REFUGE)
- Need to Talk? - Call or text 1737
- What's Up - 0800 WHATS UP (0800 942 8787)
- Lifeline - 0800 543 354 or (09) 5222 999 within Auckland
- Youthline - 0800 376 633, text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat
- Samaritans - 0800 726 666
- Depression Helpline - 0800 111 757
- Suicide Crisis Helpline - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
- Shakti Community Council - 0800 742 584
