The stars of Dai Henwood's new comedy show Dai's House Party are confessing their most embarrassing secrets from their time in COVID-19 alert level four lockdown.
Guy Williams, Chris Parker, Kim Crossman and many more funny Kiwis are busily preparing gags for the fast-tracked TV show, but that's not all they've been up to.
Like many of us, self-isolation has brought out the cringier, less-refined sides of our most beloved comedians. In the spirit of Kiwi togetherness, they're sharing their shame.
From stealing cats to trying to cut the queue at the supermarket, here are their stories:
Paul Ego
Look, I'm not proud of this, but last week when I went to the supermarket the queue was so long, I thought: 'I'll start doing the Pak N Save voice', you know, being the voice of the supermarket.
So I'm there in the queue going: 'Can I get a bit further up?' Nobody is letting me. I'm just getting looks of disgust. Then I realised I was at Countdown. They had to call security - I got thrown out. Not a good day.
Guy Montgomery
I haven't told anyone this and I hope I don't get in any trouble, but I actually haven't been working on a vaccine.
Kim Crossman
I purchased a juicer pre-lockdown because to try and be healthy.
Without much thought I started throwing things in it I could find in the fridge. The 'juice' came out with more of a thick soup texture and tasted absolutely foul. I drank it all for the many health benefits I had read about.
It was about four hours after being curled over in bed in intense pain I realized my grave mistake. Please make sure you peel an orange before you juice it.
Dai Henwood
I have to confess that when I found out the rugby league season was potentially cancelled, I snuck out to my car and I cried.
For three hours.
Then I direct messaged all my favourite players and I told them I loved them. I mean it.
Chris Parker
My self-isolation confession is that we have somewhat adopted our neighbour's cat. We call her Misty, her real name is Felix, she's a male, but oh well.
What we like to do is just have her in our house and pretend like she is our cat. We don't touch her, but we do talk to her as if she is ours.
She's around a lot, in fact in the first week of self-isolation she bought our flat fleas, which was a true blessing. I don't know if you've ever tried to flea bomb your house while also being forced to stay inside, but it is a tricky one to work out.
Guy Williams
My lockdown confession is that I'm really enjoying lockdown. Don't groan! I can hear you groaning. I know that I'm very fortunate - a lot of people are in really difficult circumstances.
But I'm eating a lot better, I'm exercising every day, watching The Sopranos every night with my partner. We panic-bought a cat! Not really, we got it just before lockdown, we were lucky in that regard.
It's embarrassing to admit that I'm doing better than I was in normal life.
Everyone is like 'bring on level three!' and I'm here ready for level five.
Dai's House Party premieres on April 23 and will be broadcast on Thursday nights at 8.30pm on Three and ThreeNow.
