It would happen often. I would arrive at my daughter's daycare at pick up time and watch other children run gleefully to their parents. My child would see me and start crying.
Child psychologist Dr Emma Woodward says this reaction is completely normal.
There are two main reasons why a child would cry when they see their parent at the end of a playdate, kindy, or school-day, Dr Woodward says.
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The first is that children don't yet have the logical ability to navigate through a transition, and any transition can make them feel overwhelmed. And when children don't have the words to express this feeling of being overwhelmed, they cry, Dr Woodward says.
The second reason is that the child feels an emotional reconnection with the person they trust most in the world, they feel safe to let down their guard when they are reconnected with this person, and they cry - often feeling relieved and overwhelmed.
Children may practice their best social behavior while at school, or at a playdate.
"When they get to see you, and you're their safe space, the wheels fall off."
Dr Woodward calls this "after-school restraint meltdown".
In my experience, I hear that my children have been well-behaved when visiting their grandparents, for example, but when I arrive to pick them up, they become argumentative and emotional.
Dr Woodward has some strategies to help parents cope with this type of behavior.
"Firstly, don't take it personally," she says.
"Don't colour their normal behaviour with your own stuff. Your job is to be the calm and rational moderator."
Dr Woodward suggests giving your child a cuddle, and time to process and work through the transition.
"A good technique is to wonder aloud with them. Saying something like 'I wonder if you've been looking forward to seeing me all day, and now you're really happy to see me?' or 'I wonder if you've had a frustrating day.'"
She says giving an emotion a name - such as frustration - can help contain that emotion.
The good news is, as children reach the age of around eight, they can better rationalise their emotions. They have better emotional regulation skills and reasoning skills, Dr Woodward says.
"Younger children are more reactive, and don't yet have the capacity to shift emotions. This changes as they develop better cognitive skills as they get older."
In the meantime, help your child navigate transitions, Dr Woodward says.
"Don't get sucked into their big feelings," she adds.
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