If you're staring down the barrel of a lonely Valentine's Day this week, perhaps only accompanied by your cat, we have news that's bound to perk you right up.
Fast-food outlet Hell Pizza has joined forces with Kiwi sex shop Adult Toy Megastore (ATMS) to give away a free mini bullet vibrator with every pizza sold this weekend.
It combines two of a singleton's biggest vices: a whole pizza to themselves, and...well...you get the picture.
"With people spending more time at home, the campaign is intended to be a fun and light-hearted, strictly adults-only, way to celebrate the modern Day of Love," a statement from ATMS reads.
The campaign is "strictly R18", with adults needing to verify their age before "opting-in" to receive the bullet toy when ordering a pizza online.
But it's unclear exactly what constitutes "verifying" - presumably the same option offered to customers before they buy alcohol online.
"Using targeted digital marketing, HELL has been able to carefully select media channels and target adults, to minimise any risk of the R18 campaign reaching minors," the statement adds.
During last year's lockdowns, the online sex toy retailer reported sales went through the roof, tripling in New Zealand, Australia and the UK.
"We're in a new era for adult toys," says owner Nicola Relph.
"I've been in this business for more than a decade, and I've never seen a time where people are so open about their sex lives and excited to try new things."
Recent results from rival toy company Lovehoney echo the sentiments.
A survey of its 17,000 Instagram followers found that "pleasure air technology is increasing in popularity, and the classic rabbit is having a comeback".
Those keen on the Hell/ATMS promotion will have to get in quick, with stock limited to only 4500 vibrators nationwide.
It's not the first time the takeaway outlet has used a controversial promotion method.
Back in 2006, the Advertising Standards Authority said today it had been "inundated" with complaints when the pizza company has included condoms in a mail-out to promote its "Lust" pizza.
Then in 2012, a Wellington couple were "outraged" after their nine-year-old son was given a pen shaped like a blood-filled syringe as part of a promotion.
