Weddings really can be a pain in the butt. From familial tensions to boozed-up bridesmaids to the sheer expense of the big day, the soon-to-be married couple will likely navigate a range of challenges on the path to 'until death do us part'.
While many prospective brides and grooms will be presented with similar obstacles - such as determining 'acceptable' stag night antics - one couple are facing a particularly unique set of circumstances.
Sharing their conundrum to the popular Reddit forum Am I the Asshole - a subreddit where people air their pressing moral predicaments to the strangers of the internet - the groom-to-be said he and his betrothed have been butting heads over a particular bridesmaid.
The bridesmaid in question, one of his fiancée's closest friends, is a "very recognisable" porn star.
Noting that he would not be disclosing the name of his fiancée's friend to protect her privacy, the groom-to-be explained the woman is "well-known" in the adult entertainment industry and he himself had seen her work before meeting her.
He expressed his concerns that a number of the guests will also recognise the woman, including his highly religious family - taking the attention off his wife-to-be and potentially causing unnecessary "drama" during the ceremony.
"I'm engaged to my fiancée and we'll be marrying in a few months. Right now we are both still deciding our wedding parties. So she is very close friends with an adult actress," the man began.
"The friend is well-known. Her face is also very recognisable to the point where if we go out to eat with her she will inevitably be asked for an autograph.
"Now don't get me wrong, I don't disapprove of her at all, that's her business. She's great. But my family is staunchly religious. So much [so] that my mom said that if the wedding was not held in a chapel, she would not be attending. I know it's ridiculous but it's my family.
"This is a problem because of how recognisable she is. I'll fully admit that prior to meeting her, I had watched a few of her videos just because of how viral they are. I'm sure other guys there will have seen her videos too, and if something gets mentioned or pointed out it could cause so much drama that I really don't want to deal with on the wedding day.
"I also don't want attention to be taken off the woman I'm marrying."
The man said he had raised his concerns with his fiancée and asked her to not pick the adult actress as a bridesmaid to avoid any complications, but she wasn't thrilled by his suggestion.
"My fiancée was not happy. She told me that she is one of her closest friends and that she's not moving her out of our wedding just to appease my mother. I told her that I want our day to go off without a hitch and this is just mitigating risk," he continued.
"I also said I felt that she owed me one because she vetoed a groomsman of mine because he cheated on someone in the bridal party. She felt it was unfair and now we're at an impasse. She told me that the way I was behaving was gross and I was being an asshole."
The man then turned to the strangers of the internet to ask the all-important question: "So here we are. AITA [am I the asshole] for asking my fiancée to remove her adult actress friend from her wedding party?"
In an edit to his post, the man clarified that as his parents are "very wealthy", his conservative mother is footing the bill for their nuptials - and no matter how religious his family is, "they're still going to use porn".
The response from Reddit was largely unanimous, with the jury returning a verdict of guilty as charged: the groom was indeed the asshole.
Others were quick to point out that the man's username, 'sleazepatrol', didn't help his case, while a number questioned why the groom didn't apply the same logic to the groomsman who had cheated on his ex-partner.
"If the bridesmaid is wearing clothes and a different style of make up, will they even recognise her? I doubt it very much. This is about you being a prude. YTA [you're the asshole]," one said.
"And how, pray, is this deeply religious family going to recognise an adult film actress? Anyone who recognises her has no right to be outraged," a second responded.
"The logic is clear: The deeply religious family... likely don't care about moral behaviour, they just don't want the neighbours talking about it," another pitched in.
"If they are all that high and mighty religious then they certainly shouldn't recognise her in that context. If they do recognise her because they watch her movies, then they will probably keep their mouth shut so they don't out themselves," another pointed out.
Others noted that the groom's admission that his highly religious family likely still watch pornography presented a concerning double-standard, with one writing: "They don't get to pull some sort of holier than thou attitude about the fact that your fiancée's best friend is a porn star. If they object to porn stars, they object to porn, which means they need to shut their mouths lest they advertise their own moral lapses.
"Either put the woman you're marrying first, or run back home to mommy."
