Former Miss New Zealand finalst Brightnye Quayle says she is publicly sharing her relationship with a man 35 years older than her in an effort to destigmatise age-gap relationships.
Born in Christchurch, the model and diving instructor is aged 23 and has been dating James, 57, for around 14 months.
Speaking with AM on Wednesday morning she said they're often mistaken as father and daughter, while he argued people saying Brightnye is only in it for the money is "disrespectful and completely untrue".
Rather than financial reasons, James said it's actually how younger men act that causes young women to go for older men instead.
"Young men don't know how to behave," he told AM.
"There is no doubt that young women are treated incredibly badly by young men who simply don't know how to behave. So it's no wonder young women are finding themselves more attractive to older guys who do know how to behave."
Brightnye agreed, saying men her age are sleazy, chivalry is dead in her age group and that one night stands and "swipe right" culture is normalised.
The couple met at a casino where Brightnye said James observed her buying nine sandwiches "for a snack" and thought it would be "funny" to talk with her.
"I thought anyone buying nine sandwiches is definitely someone I need to speak to," James agreed.
The pair confessed that for a while, they did find their age difference funny.
"We found it absolutely ridiculous for the first six months. But then after a while we kind of saw, well, age is just a number and like I don't really see him as a 57-year-old and he doesn't see me as a 23-year-old," said Brightnye.
"I think it's unfair to put people in boxes and I think the stigma should go away. There are a lot of age-gap relationships out there and it's just not talked about enough. That's why we created this [social media account] so we can talk about it and release the stigma, so other people can come out."
Brightnye said her family has been supportive of the relationship and her mother is visiting them at their Queensland home this week for a 10 day holiday.
For James, it's not completely plain sailing.
"My family is generally supportive - I've got four daughters from a previous marriage and generally they're all onboard, except for maybe one," he said.
While it may have been an order of sandwiches that first got the pair talking, they now say they love a lot more about each other.
"I love his kindness and generosity, his thrill for life, his soothing voice - there's a massive list, his ravishingly good looks," said Brightnye.
"Her zest for life - some people just don't live life to the fullest and both of us are on the go all the time. Clearly she's a beautiful girl and she's got an incredibly warm, generous and loving heart. She really is one in a million," said James.
Brightnye has been sharing snippets of the relationship on TikTok account @agegap50, which has over 60,000 followers.
