Kim Kardashian has finally reached a settlement in her highly publicised divorce from Kanye 'Ye' West, and to celebrate, the mogul is taking some time to appreciate the little things in life that bring her joy: like marble chairs with a price tag probably more than my salary, and a bedroom that looks like it should be in Tomb Raider.
Taking to her Instagram on Wednesday, reality TV's Royal Highness shared a series of snaps with her 334 million followers, with the carousel simply titled: "Things at home that make me happy."
It offered fans a glimpse into her current, carefully curated home and the futuristic, ultra-minimalist (and yes, quite pretentious) aesthetic that has become her signature - and called me broke in about eight different languages.
While it's not the first time Kardashian has shared insights into her sumptuous, stylish surroundings, it is the first time as an officially divorced woman - and the internet's eagle-eyed sleuths have been busy pinpointing the subtle changes in her post-split abode.
The first thing at home that makes the mogul happy? No, not a candid snap of her four children. A handleless, off-white, ceramic mug with a matching saucer that probably costs more than a week's rent, positioned on what appears to be a cream, woven tablecloth with an artfully raw edge. The whole thing screams "I am a woman of the earth who enjoys natural materials and fibres, but is also issued 'notices of exceedance' for excessive water usage during SoCal's drought."
The next image offers a glimpse of the room where Kim Kardashian herself will presumably relax with a cup of soothing, detoxifying diet tea after a hard day of telling people to get their "f**king ass up and work"; the living room. Complete with a cushy couch and armchairs that look like cartoon clouds, the living space also features an abstract artwork - that vaguely resembles something out of The Blair Witch Project - and a vase of leaves.
The third snap is in the bathroom, but is basically a dedicated advertisement for her skincare line, SKKN, in all its beige and brown glory. Then there's a snap of a marble chair, which looks ridiculously uncomfortable. As pointed out by BuzzFeed, the marble throne has replaced the two (much more comfortable-looking) armchairs that had been carefully positioned in the bathroom in 2019, which is where her and Ye supposedly once sat and gazed at the boxy, beige bathtub that kind of looks like where bubblebath and bath-bombs go to die.
Next up is a light, a glowing orb with a bluish centre that kind of looks like something dangerous but deceptively innocent out of Harry Potter. It is here I simply must quote BuzzFeed writer Natasha Jokic: "Next on the slideshow is this light, which I am too poor to understand. Perhaps this is what I shall see when I die." What a wordsmith.
A little further along there is a photo of the boudoir. Now, I quite like Kim Kardashian, so when I say this, I mean it in the least offensive way possible; but perhaps this tomb-like bed chamber is the secret to her seemingly ageless face? She simply has to be a vampire. The woman gets blood facials, for goodness sake.
I suppose to Kim the beige, presumably silk (?) sheets, marble platform and marble walls are something of a sanctuary; a safe, soothing space for her to retreat to amid her hectic schedule. I wish I could explain why, but I half-expected an Egyptian empress or Pharoah to be lying there amid the high thread-count cotton, or even Lara Croft herself.
Back in 2019, filmed in the bedroom - a self-proclaimed "minimal monastery" - with her children and then-husband for an interview with Vogue, everything appeared much lighter and airier, a lot more cream and comfort. I don't know if the change in décor is a metaphor for Kardashian pre-and-post-divorce, but something definitely seems different, don't you think?
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