New Zealand isn't immune to the collective madness that's engulfed the world in recent years.
Sure, we might not have elected an orange reality TV show star to lead our country and Auckland isn't trying to divorce the rest of the country for no damn reason at all, but even Aotearoa got a little bit cray in 2018.
Here are Newshub's top 10 strangest news stories of 2018 from little ol' New Zealand.
Mysterious falling fish lands on man's head in Auckland pool
British man Russell Hogg was relaxing in a Parnell Baths spa pool when a flounder knocked him on the head.
"I thought, what the f**k," he said, a completely reasonable reaction.
It's not known what dropped the fish, but Mr Hogg suspected it was a "big bird".
Giant penis mapped in sky a 'regular flying pattern'
Not every avian penis is suspicious, it turns out. A phallic flight path seen on flight-tracking sites above Canterbury turned out to be an 'entry hold' manoeuvre, which was being practised by a couple of pilots late on one February night.
Complaint about 'fat and ugly' man in KFC ad thrown out
People complain about ads not telling the truth, but when one does, people whine.
In a complaint to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) in March, someone with nothing better to do complained about a "a sloppy man wandering down a street in a sloppy bath robe eating from a carton".
"He wipes his grubby hands on his sleeve and proceeds to his destination where he disrobes and plunges into a pool, fat and ugly," they said, their jealousy barely contained.
The ASA threw the complaint out, 'cause KFC clearly knows who it's marketing to.
'Extremely foolhardy' snow leopard sanctuary won't happen
In March, a Hastings man proposed introducing snow leopards to New Zealand.
More than 4500 people signed a petition to release the large cats in the Southern Alps, which would have the dual benefits of annoying Gareth Morgan and keeping the pest Thar population in check.
But not only did the change.org fail to reach its goal of 5000 signatures, real environmentalists laughed it out of the news cycle in a matter of hours.
Mysterious pile of cooked spaghetti discovered on top of Wellington's Mt Victoria
A huge serving of spaghetti was dumped on a rock on top the capital's Mt Victoria in March, which was clearly a very strange month.
Wellington City Council reportedly opened an investigation into the vermicelli vandals, but strangely doesn't appear to have made its findings public.
A bot that writes Mike Hosking opinion columns
In April, a Kiwi artist unleashed a bot that writes opinion columns in the style of conservative broadcaster Mike Hosking.
Creator Joshua Drummond said it was like "having a portal straight into the mind of every slightly shitty person you know", but without having to admit reading columns by the real Mike Hosking.
Waihi police use KFC to lure pig running loose through town
If any fast-food restaurant was going to make a Kiwi top 10 twice, it was always going to be KFC.
But it's not only New Zealand humans that can't get enough of the Colonel - a rogue boar on the loose in Waihi in August also couldn't resist the secret herbs and spices.
But the story doesn't end there - the boar was later seen being walked down the main street of the small North Island town by "a tall, dark stranger", according to Newshub's own reporting.
The most useless suggestion Jacinda Ardern's probably ever had
In 2104, John Key's staff were infamously asked to disprove the theory he was "shape-shifting reptilian alien ushering humanity towards enslavement".
And in 2018, Jacinda Ardern was asked if she ever ended Cabinet meetings with the phrase "meeting Arderned".
Her office said no, but that she appreciated the pun.
Santa Claus is a man and 'that's how it should be' - Simon Bridges
The 'Yanny vs Laurel' debate wasn't the stupidest thing Kiwis had to take a side on this year. In November, grown-up people in positions of real responsibility got their Christmas stockings in a twist over whether Santa could be a woman or have skin that wasn't as white as the ice that's meant to cover his/her Arctic home.
Simon Bridges said it was "PC gone, I don't know if it's gone mad, but too far", while Wellington Mayor Justin Lester insisted he'd actually seen Santa, and he was definitely a man. An Auckland local board chair said he'd love it if Santa had "boobies, just like mummy", while The AM Show's Duncan Garner called Nelson's Maori Santa a "complete hoax".
Auckland family outing goes awry as 'Nazis' run around park with guns
What looks like a Nazi, talks like a Nazi and shoots like a Nazi, but isn't a Nazi? Live-action-roleplayers, or as they like to be called, the Historical Reenactment Society of New Zealand.
A group dressed as Nazi soldiers terrified families in August when they took to a park near Glenbrook Vintage Railway to train.
But the group denied they were dressed as Nazis - just "standard German infantry" that so happened to be that worn in World War II.
Newshub.
