In 2011, Poutawa Whiti Kireka - also known as Puk - was high on methamphetamine and had been consuming alcohol when he left a Hastings mother with 23 shotgun pellets in her shoulder.
Puk, who was in his early twenties at the time, was jailed for three years following the vicious suburban shooting.
Puk is a patched member of the Mongrel Mob. The 33-year-old was once proud to belong to New Zealand's most notorious street gang - so much so, he had the word 'notorious' tattooed in black and red across much of his face.
But two years ago, Puk embarked on the difficult journey of transformation, and now, almost a decade on from the shooting, he has put the life of crime behind him. A devoted dad, Puk is now striving to give his children a life he never had.
Speaking candidly to Magic Talk's Ryan Bridge, Puk sat down to share a raw account into his time among the Mongrel Mob ranks.
"I never refused nothing. I was 100 percent committed to the lifestyle… whatever they told me to do, I did," he told Bridge. "I've seen a lot of scary stuff."
On that fateful day 10 years ago, Puk was drunk and high. He called up some of his mates to pick him up and loaded a shotgun in the back of the car.
"We went to the place where we heard that this fella was. We bashed him, he managed to get free from us, and I chased him into the house. I pulled the gun out and pointed it at him, and then I got tackled," he said. "We fell on the ground and that's when the gun went off. It hit an innocent woman.
"That was not a very proud moment of mine, but I did that. At the time I was a drunk and I had been smoking methamphetamine. That sort of fuelled me to have this murderous thought."
Puk says he expressed his remorse to the woman and has since made amends with her and her family. Although he never formally apologised to the intended target, they have crossed paths since the attack.
"We're alright now. We talk, [but] I never apologised to him," Puk said. "I would apologise to everyone who was there. I'm sorry for putting their lives at risk. For them to see something like that, some of them - the ladies' children, they were there as well. They hated me for years but now they've moved on."
But three years in jail does not make a changed man. Puk believes if anything, incarceration hardens even the most brutal of criminals.
"Jail makes people worse. Jail is not a nice place to be. If you think jail is the answer for these fellas, it's not. They go to jail and they're surrounded by gang members. If you ain't a gang member, you go to jail, you'll come out a gang member," he said.
"It's a big recruiting ground in there and a lot of guys ain't getting out anyway. If you enter prison for stealing or something, you'll go straight into the unit with someone charged with murder… this guy is going to pick on you, he's got nothing to lose now. It makes people worse I reckon."
Puk says violence was almost instinctive to him during his time as an active member of the Mongrel Mob. Thoughts of a victim's family, or how an attack might impact their life, did not weigh heavy on his mind.
"To me it was normal. It was normal behaviour to me to do things like that. I didn't really think too much of it. If a fella needs the bash, then bash him. If you ask questions then you might get the bash."
According to Child, Youth, and Family, more than 25 percent of adult gang members have been recorded as alleged perpetrators of abuse or neglect of children.
As a child, Puk also felt the strain of abandonment. His father left the family when he was only seven.
"I was hurt and I was confused. I didn't know… no one was telling me nothing. I was angry. I didn't understand why he had left us. It wasn't until I got older [I realised] he hurt my mum too much and she'd had enough," he told Bridge.
But time has started healing old wounds, forging an improved relationship between the two - with Puk's path to a better future inspiring his father to also take the plunge.
"He's really happy for me. He's made some changes himself due to my changes. He'll be 64 this year and it's taken that long for him to make a change."
The former Mobster, who describes himself as an inactive member, has now been tip-toeing the straight-and-narrow tightrope for two years - but like any tightrope walker, the path forward has not been without slip-ups.
In February 2020, Puk was sentenced to six months supervision after being convicted of assaulting his partner four months earlier.
"I'm not proud of that moment. I don't drink alcohol anymore. I know it's not good for me," he said.
The couple, who are still together, have since welcomed a baby girl into the family. The seven-month-old is "something else", Puk says.
"Kids change your life," he told Bridge. "I never stopped being a gang member, but I stopped doing a lot of things I used to do. I had to remove myself from hanging out with the boys every single day, to just a few times a year now. I had to do that so that I could better myself as a person for my children, be a better father, and a better role model for them.
"I never had any positive role models growing up, or anyone showing me how to really live life. I feel like if I don't change, that's what will happen to [my kids]. They'll end up getting loser boyfriends, gang member boyfriends - my son will grow up to be a gang member. I don't want that for them."
Although Puk steers clear of criminal activity, he will still reunite with his former family on the odd occasion. The majority are supportive of his endeavours, he says, particularly his brother, who is an active member.
"I just have to lead by example. Hopefully, some of them will follow and change their lives around. It's never really been about leaving the gang for me, but changing the way we think, the way we do things, being more about our families… kids don't get to see dads, or dad's in jail."
Hawke's Bay business owner Robbie Gale has been a critical part of Puk's journey on the right side of the law. Gale offered Puk employment, sparking his passion for fitness and business.
"I still see the boys around, I'll still go see them, talk to them. I'm not committing crime, I'm selling meal plans and workout programmes now, not drugs."
The former devotion Puk poured into the gang is now being channelled into his own family. He dreams of his children going through life without battling the hardships he had to face.
"I dream of [my daughter] going through life without struggles. Me watching her grow up and being at all her school things. Hopefully, I'll stay around long enough to watch her have children," he told Bridge.
"Just to be able to support her and her other siblings financially, physically, emotionally. Everything. Give them the best life that I never got. That's my dream for them, to be a real dad."
