Ahead of a mid-pandemic holiday period, one clinical psychologist is encouraging people to think ahead if they are looking to avoid COVID-19 dinner table arguments.
Getting ready for a COVID-19 summer is not easy - with complicated travel plans and anti-vax relatives - it's a Christmas season like no other.
What if Uncle Bob wears his mask under his nose, and grandma won't stop talking about Q-Anon?
Senior clinical psychologist Dr Kirsty Ross let Morning Report in on some helpful tips for avoiding carnage at the Christmas table.
Dr Ross said at Christmas people are often spending time with people who they do not have a lot to do with during the rest of the year and it is a time of high stress for a lot of people.
She said for those people you might only see once a year and whose COVID-19 viewpoint differs from yours, the conversation may be best avoided.
"If it's someone you see once a year, it's actually okay to say 'you know what I'm just going to I'm just going to not engage in a lot of conversation with that person, I'm just going to make sure that I talk to other people, be civil, be polite but I'm actually going to choose not to engage with this."
But Dr Ross said with someone who you see on a regular basis it may be good to plan ahead of Christmas day.
"It's probably good ahead of time to just say 'hey can we have a chat about Christmas day, I'm just wondering if we can have a talk about you know how we're going to manage the masks and sanitiser - or you know whatever it is that you think might be an issue."
She said it is important to try and keep the relationship to the forefront and respect the other person's opinion when trying to determine a plan about how to manage Christmas day.
Dr Ross said in regards to vaccination it is important to have your own bottom line in terms of what you are prepared to accommodate and where that is will differ for everyone.
She said if vaccinated people feel they are not able to spend Christmas day with someone who is unvaccinated and the weather is good one option could be to eat outside with social distancing.
"Obviously making sure that you say to people 'if you are unwell, if you've been to a location of interest, if you know anyone that's got symptoms for the interests of you know Grandma Mary or little baby Susie then can you please maybe stay away for this Christmas just because we are worried about COVID."
She urged people to be cautious around how they vocalise criticism of others' views as a confrontational approach can have the opposite affect than was intended.
"Make COVID the problem not the person, because actually again at the heart of it we are in situations that we're having to navigate because of an illness.
"It's bringing to light peoples' differing opinions on things which may have been simmering there anyway but if we keep making the problem the illness and the circumstances that we're in then it can open up conversations rather than 'you're doing this' or the person being the problem."
Ross said confronting the person rather than their problematic ideas can lead people to become defensive and even more entrenched in their existing views.
RNZ
