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Abuse

HELP Auckland launching new campaign to help support rape victims

Warning: This story discusses rape.

One in five Kiwi women will experience a serious sexual assault, often more than once, normally by someone they know.

The mental, physical, and emotional toll is huge. So to raise money to support rape victims and increase awareness around sexual violence, HELP Auckland is launching its 'Do something HELP-ful' campaign next month.

Laura Eustace says she was just 17 years old when she was raped by a young man she'd just met at a party after he'd lured her into a garden shed.

"I cried, I vomited, I said no. I said everything a survivor is expected to say during an assault. He didn't stop. Afterwards he pulled up his pants, laughed and walked out," she told Newshub.

But moments later, it happened again. The same young man, in a different room.

"I think people at the party thought it was a consensual act. After we left he had made disgusting comments, derogatory comments and kind of changed the narrative," Eustace said.

"So for me, I didn't want to admit anything. I thought okay I'm going to think it was a one-night stand so I tried to laugh it off. But for me I knew what had happened was wrong."

Eustace moved overseas, but she couldn't escape the mental and emotional toll that night took. Eventually the lies, confusion, and denial proved too much.

"I attempted suicide and nearly passed away. I was put into an induced coma and into a psychiatric ward. Came back to New Zealand and was told I wasn't in crisis enough to go into the mental health system," she said.

Laura Eustace.
Laura Eustace. Photo credit: Newshub.

Her mum, her biggest supporter, took control and found her the professional help she desperately needed. 

So Eustace began regular counselling and for the first time she opened up completely. All the details were laid bare and finally she started to deal with what actually happened to her. It was the breakthrough she needed.

She learned to be comfortable with the uncomfortable, which she had tattooed on her arms.

She also created the Flourish Project to share her story and to help and support other rape survivors. The crucial message - my body, my rules.

"For so long I felt ashamed of what I had gone through, I felt like I held this really dark and dirty secret and that I was all alone," Eustace said.

"Ever since speaking up about my experience, I have had countless people of all ages come up to me and say, 'I have also gone through the same thing', 'Thank you so much for sharing', 'It's really helped me'."

The rape stats are alarming in New Zealand.

On average, one in five Kiwi women experience a serious sexual assault, often more than once, normally by someone they know.

Those aged between 16 and 24 are more likely to be sexually assaulted and only 10 out of 100 cases will be reported. Just three of those will make it to court.

Kathryn McPhillips.
Kathryn McPhillips. Photo credit: Newshub.

"Given the nature of the impacts, it's a crisis," HELP Auckland clinical psychologist Kathryn McPhillips said.

Asked why people rape, she said there are individual drivers in a person.

"There's the fact we live in what we call a rape supportive culture here which is where people know that fundamentally they are going to get away with it," she said.

"But really there's a core there of entitlement that your need right now is more important than the being of this other person."

McPhillips said education is key, and Eustace agreed.

"I think consent education is so important and it needs to be taught in more schools," she said.

"I think toxic masculinity also needs to be taught in more schools, especially for boys and men growing up and also what it actually means to get the consent and what it means to treat women and other people right."

Both McPhillips and Eustace are backing the 'Do something HELP-ful' campaign next month. It's been organised by HELP Auckland, and it's simple - you do something helpful to raise money to help rape survivors.

Eustace plans to sell her hoodies to raise funds. It's her contribution, her way, her rules.

To find services in your local area:

National Network Ending Sexual Violence Together

ACC Find Support 

To talk to someone now:

Rape Crisis  - 0800 88 33 00

Safe to Talk  - 0800 044 334

If you have witnessed or experienced sexual harassment or assault and would like to speak to someone, you could call the HELP support service.

Where else to find help and support: