New Zealand's first qualified Pacific Island funeral director is calling for better cultural understanding if pandemic restrictions are ever re-imposed.
Ese Tatupu says grieving Pacific communities have faced "extremely harsh times" in the light of COVID-19.
Health officials have been asked to come up with a plan to cope with a new variant or outbreak.
At the current orange and green setting there are no limits for funerals - falelauasiga, in Samoan.
A move back to the red setting would mean a 200-person limit on indoor gatherings, a spokesperson from the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet said.
One Auckland woman, who would like to remain anonymous, hopes the health authorities can learn from her family's heartbreak in March - when the country had moved to the traffic light system.
Sina's* father had lung disease when he caught COVID-19. He was susceptible to infection and his family knew there was a real risk.
"When we got that confirmation we knew he probably wouldn't be coming home with us that day," Sina said.
There were frustrations from the get go, and restrictions in hospital meant her large Samoan family had to compromise on who would be with their father.
"When he got up to the ward he left us within 20 minutes and that was really hard because my two brothers weren't able to be there with dad in his final moments," Sina said.
Culture and family were "very important to him, he was a very hard worker too".
Her dad was a no fuss kind of man but Covid-19 restrictions in mid-March made funeral arrangements "really difficult".
The then limit of 100 people may seem do-able for some, but for Sina's Samoan family it was a hard ask.
While she was planning, the funeral restrictions eased to a 200-limit - a blessing for some but it was confusing and just another measure for the family to think about at a time when they wanted to think about their dad, she said.
"I got the time to grieve but it was later. Restrictions were followed and I think I focused more on that than I did on my grieving."
Ese Tatupu has been in the business of funerals for more than two decades, a career he pursued after his father died when he was six-years-old.
He believes cultural practices should have been taken more seriously by the government over the last two years.
"Especially in the Pacific Island community, we don't have counsellors, we don't have psychologists, we just do our own thing," he said.
Tatupu says that is all the more reason for the government to ensure other measures such as cultural practices during funerals are always allowed.
He believes clear avenues for mental health support for Pasifika facing loss and grief need to be addressed.
"I think the government should engage with the New Zealand Embalmers [Association] and the Funeral Directors [Association] and review the whole pandemic plan," Tatupu said.
Funeral Association chief executive Gillian Boyes backs Tatupu, who is a member of the association.
While the association has not officially called for a review of COVID-19 measures for funerals it is not off the table, Boyes said.
"We are really hoping the government will look at the lessons that they learned from the pandemic. We would hate families to have to go through the situation again, where they couldn't have funerals at all. Even when there were ten allowed, that was creating sort of unbearable decisions for families around who can attend. So we would like the government to capture those lessons and put in place a response for any future pandemic to enable funerals to continue," Boyes said.
Tatupu says at times he felt like he had no choice but to blatantly disregard measures.
"They weren't even allowed to hug them, kiss them, say goodbye to them, especially one of the most important times in people's lives, saying goodbye to their loved ones. Especially when you have one relative pass away one week and then the following week another relative passing away also, back to back," he said.
As of 3 May, 91 Pacific peoples have died across the country after contracting COVID-19.
Tatupu says wait times for burials have been felt deeply among Pacific communities.
His team had the body of a mother in their care for ten months before being repatriated back to Samoa.
Delays have eased but Sina said any delay is tough; her family waited a week to lay her father to rest.
A heavy burden Purewa Cemetery and Crematorium general manager Alastair Crombie has seen time and time again.
"We had to basically be policemen, we felt for our customers, we felt for those who wanted to have their traditional funerals and were not able to. There was a lot of strain on staff and for funeral directors as well," Crombie said.
It is evident larger families have been through another layer of hardship, tussling with limits on numbers, he said.
"Island families are big families, it was hard... In a Samoan family, you plan the funeral and people turn up and that is it," Sina said.
She wants authorities to move Pasifika cultures from the side to the centre of the next COVID-19 resurgence plan.
"The main focus has been on COVID, so much that they have had to put that to the side a little bit. There needs to be more compassion, especially when it comes to the final moments of family members," she said.
COVID-19 restrictions have eased for now under the orange setting.
The government is keeping QR scanning and vaccine passes in reserves and with the threat of new variants, health officials have been asked to draft a plan.
RNZ
