Warning: This story discusses sexual abuse, mental health and suicide.
It's been an emotional day at the Gloriavale Employment Court case, with a witness alleging she was sexually abused, publicly shamed and cut off from her family when she left.
Rose Standtrue said she was under so much pressure, she contemplated taking her own life.
Every day at court, the women of Gloriavale who've come to observe proceedings enjoy lunch in the sun. But former resident Standtrue said the reality on the inside is that having a break was not part of life.
"So no we didn't get a lunch break."
No break, despite working 15-hour days in the laundry.
Gloriavale's lawyer, Philip Skelton QC, suggested Standtrue was exaggerating her evidence when it came to working without breaks or being too busy to eat. But the witness rejected this, saying that was her experience.
The court soon learned her experience was a lot worse than just working punishing hours.
"I've seen girls being touched inappropriately by men while they were working and had this happen to me. Even as a little girl we were told by other girls and older women to keep our distance from [name redacted] so he wouldn't grope our legs when we were serving at the table," Standtrue told the court.
She said sexual abuse was being "withheld" from parents.
"The physical and mental pressure of trying to cope and deal with this and trying to conform all the time was too much. I collapsed and couldn't work anymore."
Standtrue said she wanted to get out but felt trapped.
"I just wanted my life to be over, because I was really miserable, I wanted to commit suicide because I was real depressed and had anxiety and PTSD and I felt like that was the only way out of Gloriavale."
Eventually, Standtrue managed to leave when her parents allowed her to see a counsellor in Greymouth. It hasn't been easy since - all her family stayed behind.
"On bad days, all I can think about is my family still in Gloriavale."
Since leaving, she's been cut off, saying leaders instructed her family to reject her for being involved in this case.
"I tried to see my family three weeks ago. I was physically forced from the room, I was pushed and shoved and restrained from seeing my siblings."
Another witness, Pearl Valor, told the court women were only seen as important for a couple of reasons.
"In Gloriavale, women are valued for two things, working hard usually at the expense of your own health and producing babies," Valor said.
Working conditions is the focus of this case, which is examining if women were employees or just volunteers.
Valor was clear that work was not optional. And it was hard work, like lifting crates of vegetables off food delivery trucks.
"Occasionally a few men would see me and walk down to help me with lifting the crates"
A harrowing day of evidence, but there was relief for these women who can speak freely at Court and be heard.
Where to find help and support:
- Shine (domestic violence) - 0508 744 633
- Women's Refuge - 0800 733 843 (0800 REFUGE)
- Need to Talk? - Call or text 1737
- What's Up - 0800 WHATS UP (0800 942 8787)
- Lifeline - 0800 543 354 or (09) 5222 999 within Auckland
- Youthline - 0800 376 633, text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat
- Samaritans - 0800 726 666
- Depression Helpline - 0800 111 757
- Suicide Crisis Helpline - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
- Shakti Community Council - 0800 742 584
