The death of soldier Kane Te Tai has left people grieving here and half a world away in Ukraine.
But his parents, Ngaire and Keith Te Tai, said a letter from Kane - and the generosity of Kiwis - is helping to ease their pain.
They sat down exclusively with The Hui and recalled the first moment they learnt he wasn't coming home.
"It was like the worst day of our lives … and it's like surreal. And I tell you his whole life flashed before me," Ngaire said.
It was a life that always seemed destined to end up in the military.
Kane's stepfather Keith remembers when he first met Kane, a four-year-old boy with military aircraft dangling from the ceiling of his bedroom.
"There were all these aeroplanes and army toys hanging from the ceiling ... he was already pointed in that direction."
Kane's army ambitions only got stronger as he got older. He was just 17 and straight out of school when he joined the New Zealand Defence Force.
Ngaire said Kane was always "very, very independent, strong, confident".
Kane would need all of that bravado because he was deployed to Afghanistan before his 21st birthday.
But even when he was serving abroad, Ngaire and Keith never really believed he would end up on a field of war.
"I never ever dreamed, really, that he'd go onto the battlefield. And I think that's probably the same as other parents. They never dream that their kids are going to ultimately get to that stage."
When the worst did happen and Kane did die in battle defending Ukraine against Russia's invasion, Ngaire still hoped that the son she remembers as a comedian was playing one final trick on her.
It was not to be.
But when he was brought home to rest, thanks to the generosity of Kiwis, Kane did have a final message for his parents - and another for his 12-year-old daughter - from beyond the grave.
He wrote letters explaining to them why he felt he needed to be in Ukraine, saying he couldn't ignore the conflict when innocent people were forced to live it.
Ngaire said that before reading the letter she would argue with her son in her head.
"I was thinking, 'You've got a daughter here, you've left her'. That was part of where he was speaking about the selfish part of his choice, 'What about us?'"
After reading his letter, she had a sense of understanding.
"I'd love to have my son here on this Earth but I feel a little at peace knowing he's answered some of those questions. Now we'll focus our energies on his daughter, our moko girl, and try and keep his memory alive in everything we do, [and] celebrate his life."
Anzac Day now has a whole new meaning for Kane's parents.
"We understand now, eh? I've got so much more respect for our servicemen and for our grieving parents, families, and those ones that have gone before us," Keith said.
Made with the help of Te Mangai Pāhō and New Zealand on Air
