Warning: This story contains evidence from the trial which some readers may find extremely upsetting.
Two different pictures of Lauren Dickason have been portrayed by the Crown and defence during the second week of the murder trial: An angry murderer and a loving mother.
For two weeks, a jury at the High Court in Christchurch has listened to evidence delving into Dickason's life, detailing her mental health illnesses, struggles with motherhood and harrowing accounts of the day she killed her little girls.
Dickason is on trial for the murder of her children, Liané, 6, and two-year-old twins Maya and Karla in their Timaru home on September 16, 2021. She has admitted to killing her children but denies it was murder.
Her defence argues Dickason was either insane at the time of the killings or is guilty of infanticide, not murder, as her mind was disturbed by a disorder as a consequence of childbirth.
But the Crown claims the South African doctor is guilty of murder - that knew what she was doing and acted methodically.
'Angry murderer'
Crown Prosecutor Andrew McRae has claimed Dickason was angry at her children at the time of the alleged offending.
The second week of the trial started with the relaying of Dickason's disturbing internet search history in the months leading up to the evening she killed her three little girls.
A digital forensic expert called by the Crown revealed to the jury the mum had searched for different methods to give children an overdose numerous times in July and August 2021. These included the searches "most effective overdose in children", "drugs to overdose kids" and "carbon monoxide death".
There were also searches that didn't reference drugs such as "how to deal with anxiety due to COVID" and "I hate what lockdown is making me".
The jury then viewed a video of Dickason's police interview which was conducted the day after the killings took place. The defence suggested Dickason wasn't fit to be interviewed so soon as she was pending further psychiatric evaluation, and awaiting her drug test results when the interrogation took place.
McRae pointed to this video as an example of Dickason's "anger", especially towards Karla.
"The first twin [Karla] was being really, really, really horrible to me lately. She's been biting me and hitting me and scratching me and throwing tantrums 24 hours a day and I just don't know how to manage that. That's why I did her first," Lauren told the detective the day after the killings.
She also described how Karla was a "firecracker" with a temper and aggression that scared the whole family.
McRae then noted the messages Dickason sent friends and family which included comments such as "I would rather divorce my children", wanted to give them a "hiding" and how she wish she could "return [her children] and start over".
"These are messages that are flying out from Mrs Dickason," McRae said.
He claimed these messages painted a picture of an angry and frustrated mum who didn't want her children.
"The messages that I have read out to you and the material that was contained within the police interview about what was happening at the time of what Dickason did what she did, the Crown say demonstrate anger towards the children."
'Loving mother'
The defence claim in Dickason's mind she was killing the children "out of love".
At the end of the second week, the defence called a leading expert in infanticide, who has recently interviewed Dickason, to take the stand to give her opinion of the mum's state of mind during the killings.
Forensic psychiatrist Susan Hatters-Friedman told the jury, in her view, Dickason was incapable of knowing killing her children was morally wrong. She also believed Dickason's mind was disturbed by a disorder that was a consequence of childbirth, therefore it is a case of infanticide.
"It is my opinion that, at the time of her alleged offending, Dr Lauren Dickason was labouring under a disease of the mind to such an extent that it rendered her incapable of knowing that the act was morally wrong, having regard to the commonly-accepted standards of right and wrong," she told the jury. "It is my opinion that her disease of the mind, at the time of the offending... was major depressive disorder with mood-congruent psychotic features."
Dr Hatters-Friedman said, on the night of September 16, 2021, Dickason acted with an altruistic motive.
An altruistic motive is when the parent kills their child "out of love". It may be related to parental beliefs about rescuing a child from a fate worse than death, she said.
Dickason revealed to the psychiatrist her last words to her daughters.
"Mummy's very sick and is going to die. I can't leave you behind because I don't know who's going to look after you," she told them, according to Dr Hatters-Friedman.
As a result of her mental illness, Dickason saw Timaru through a distorted lens, Dr Hatters-Friedman said. She thought the children at school were sad and the residents were ungroomed.
Dickason repetitively referred to a "creepy man" or teenager in the park who made her feel like New Zealand was not safe.
She believed she was doing the right thing by killing her children, Dr Hatters-Friedman said.
"She felt love and fear and told her children she wanted to spare them from the horrible world."
If she was going to leave this world, she couldn't leave them behind, she said.
There was no evidence the children were physically abused before they were killed, with the autopsy report finding no signs of old or recent injuries unrelated to their deaths.
Next week the jury will hear from four more experts during the trial, two of whom have been summoned by the Crown and have conflicting opinions with the defence's expert witnesses.
Where to find help and support:
- Shine (domestic violence) - 0508 744 633
- Women's Refuge - 0800 733 843 (0800 REFUGE)
- Need to Talk? - Call or text 1737
- What's Up - 0800 WHATS UP (0800 942 8787)
- Lifeline - 0800 543 354
- Youthline - 0800 376 633, text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat
- Samaritans - 0800 726 666
- Depression Helpline - 0800 111 757
- Suicide Crisis Helpline - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
- Shakti Community Council - 0800 742 584
