Warning: This story contains evidence from the trial which some readers may find extremely upsetting.
A court has heard of there being three prior instances where Lauren Dickason had thoughts of hurting her children.
The father of the three children and Lauren's husband, Graham Dickason, has also described his wife being less talkative after the family arrived in New Zealand.
Graham appeared via audio-visual link at the High Court in Christchurch on Tuesday, to give evidence in the trial of his wife Lauren.
Lauren is standing trial accused of murdering their little girls Liané, Maya and Karla in Timaru in 2021 - just weeks after the family emigrated from South Africa.
It's being alleged by the Crown Lauren is guilty of murder, saying she was aware of her actions before, during and after the crime. The defence is arguing insanity and infanticide.
Graham on Tuesday was asked by Crown prosecutor Andrew McRae about Lauren having previous thoughts of hurting the children.
"The first incident was, roughly, in May 2019 - I'm not too sure exactly of that date... and it was a normal night, [the] night nanny came and I was there but, at that particular night, Lauren was helping with settling down the twins," Graham said.
"When she came back into the main kitchen area - or dining room area - I could see that she was crying and... she looked anxious. And, of course, I immediately engaged with her and asked her, 'What's wrong?'
"Once again, I cannot remember the exact words that she used that night... as far as I can remember, she used the words to the extent of that she feels she can do something to the twins."
Graeme said the second instance came in July 2021, during widespread political unrest in South Africa. She had a severe anxiety attack and mentioned feeling "like she can sedate the children and cut their femoral arteries and so that it can just all be over", Graham said.
"I was a lot taken aback by that comment, I was surprised by it - I didn't understand where it was coming from," he said. "I don't know Lauren as a violent person - it was actually an absurd statement to make and, at that stage, my mind was not so much about her actually doing that [but] as to why she was saying it."
Graham said he put the comments down to Lauren's anxiety and tried to calm her down, urging her to take some anti-anxiety medication and run a hot bath while he tended to the children.
"After the kids were asleep, I remember going to our main bedroom - Lauren had just got out of the bath... and we just sat on the end of the bed and started talking, she was crying still and I just wanted to know from her if she realised what she said.
"She acknowledged she realised what she said and I asked her if she ever thinks she would be able to do such a thing as she mentioned, which she replied to with a 'no.'"
Lauren went on to say she was just "severely anxious" and didn't know why she made the comments, Graham said.
"It was the first time I'd heard her say something like that and it was difficult to make sense of it. At that stage, I connected it to what was going on around us and just a severe level anxiety attack, at that stage."
Graham said he and Lauren went to sleep, and his wife wasn't anxious the next morning.
The third instance came just before their departure to New Zealand, when Lauren spoke of "having that feeling again", he said.
"I told her to immediately take her anti-anxiety meds... it was a much lesser incident."
'She was definitely more quiet'
Graham earlier told the court his wife was "definitely more reserved" upon their arrival to New Zealand.
"If I think of the years before, there were periods when Lauren was quiet. Lauren has always been, in my mind, more of an introvert so there would be periods where she was not so talkative," he said.
"This was, in my opinion, different to those prior periods - she was definitely more quiet in this last couple of weeks.
"My feeling at that stage was she was not talkative, only communicated when necessary… and conversations were much shorter than what I've known over the past 15 years."
He said this started while they were packing up their house in South Africa and continued during their stay in managed isolation upon arrival in New Zealand. The family arrived in New Zealand at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic and had to spend a fortnight in quarantine.
Graham could communicate with his wife during this period but it was "very basic", he told the court.
"We'd been through a lot in those last couple of weeks and so communication was definitely more around... what needed to be done that day, how the day would go."
'Didn't see any sign of life'
According to a police interview played in court earlier on Tuesday, Graham told Det Sam Faulkner about the moment he arrived home from a work event on the evening of September 16, 2021.
Graham told police he did not see "any sign of life" when he discovered his children in bed.
"I unlocked the door, took off my shoes - I went into the living room and saw my wife standing in the kitchen… she looked strange, she looked wobbly - like as if she wanted to fall over," Graham said in the police interview.
He said he went on to ask his wife if she was OK.
Lauren didn't "really reply", Graham told police.
"I asked her, 'What's the matter?' And she told me, 'It's too late.' I can't remember the exact words and I asked, 'Too late for what?'"
He said he asked his wife if she had taken something.
"I assumed the kids were sleeping, then I realised something was wrong. I walked to Liané's bed, she was covered with the blanket - I took off the blanket, her face was pale, she had a cable tie around her neck. I ran to the twins' room, saw the same thing there."
The court heard on Monday how Lauren told her children they were going to make necklaces and then put zip ties around their necks.
In the police interview played on Tuesday, Graham said of how he "panicked" after finding his daughters.
"I... ran back and asked her what she's done," Graham told police. "I grabbed a scissor, I ran to Liané's room and cut the cable tie, ran to the twins, cut the cable ties. I didn't see any sign of life."
Graham said he then put Liané on the floor to try and determine if she was breathing.
He then held her in his arms and went back to the twins' bedroom.
Graham said he "didn't know what else to do" and phoned a colleague.
"I just asked him to come and help me... I think then I realised they were gone and I just left the house."
Graham told police how his wife looked happy prior to the killings and there was nothing strange about her behaviour.
He said she had suffered from "mild" depression for a long time.
"She has seen a psychiatrist back home a while back, a couple of times and everything... was under control and on medication."
Graham described how Lauren was "very scared" back in South Africa due to political unrest.
He said Lauren, however, had "always reassured me that she's fine" and "just needs to get here and get the kids into school".
"[The] first week went well actually but... the days got long. Once again she was very, very quiet but I did everything I could to keep the kids occupied and give her time to rest," Graham said of their stay in quarantine. "And obviously there was something deeper that I didn't recognise.
"I've been 15 married to her for 15 years. Not in my wildest dreams did I imagine something like this."
The trial continues before Justice Cameron Mander.
Where to find help and support:
- Shine (domestic violence) - 0508 744 633
- Women's Refuge - 0800 733 843 (0800 REFUGE)
- Need to Talk? - Call or text 1737
- What's Up - 0800 WHATS UP (0800 942 8787)
- Lifeline - 0800 543 354
- Youthline - 0800 376 633, text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat
- Samaritans - 0800 726 666
- Depression Helpline - 0800 111 757
- Suicide Crisis Helpline - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
- Shakti Community Council - 0800 742 584
