Pike River families say they were lied to by authorities from day one, when they should have been told the truth that their men had died straight away.
The families have helped write new guidelines for the public service to better support survivors in future tragedies.
Twenty-nine men died when the Pike River mine exploded in 2010. Their families were told for days they may still be alive - but say authorities knew almost immediately they weren't.
Widow Anna Osborne says the families should have been told the truth.
"It would have hurt to have been told on the day of the first explosion that our men were most likely dead. But knowing that we were lied to has hurt us the most, the Prime Minister at the time was told, we weren't."
Twelve years later, they still feel betrayed.
"Even now we cannot trust the recovery agency, the police, the experts and because of this they cannot heal."
But they hope a new set of standards will ensure survivors and families aren't hurt in the way they were.
The Pike River families helped to write the standards, after speaking with others affected by major disasters like the March 15 terror attack and the Whakaari eruption.
"We have written this standard to make this space for the breadth of grief without taking power from those who grieve," said Sonya Rockhouse.
There are three main parts to the standards:
To empower survivors, so they don't feel like they have lost their ability to make decisions
Be upfront with open and honest communication
Work together to make sure survivors receive coordinated support from authorities
"Each event teaches us something different and what's important is that we don't repeat mistakes a second time," Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said.
Chiquita Holden struggled to get support after she survived being shot in the 1990 Aramoana massacre.
"We actually didn't receive any kind of professional help and I think anyone who is working with survivors really needs to make sure they are doing the right thing."
The Government says as more disasters happen - and they will - and more survivors share their stories, the standards will continue to be improved.
