Former Labour minister Kiri Allan has spoken out about being "deeply unhappy for a long while" and how this year has felt like a "rolling maul of yuck".
In a lengthy social media post on Monday morning, Allan said she was diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD and dysregulated emotions.
"Having been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for years, it was a slightly painful experience realising I’d been misdiagnosed and mis-medicated for years," she said.
"Now I’m getting the right support for that, but it’s a new journey of learning a completely different way of operating."
Allan's political career came to a sudden halt earlier this year after she was involved in a car crash in Wellington and charged with careless use of a motor vehicle and refusing to accompany a police officer. Allan was issued an infringement notice for excess breath alcohol between 250 and 400mcg. She was initially meant to appear in court on Monday, but it has been delayed until September 14.
The former Justice Minister had earlier been on mental health leave from Parliament but returned to work the week prior to the crash. That came as it emerged "concerns" had been raised about working relationships in her office.
Following the crash, Allan resigned her ministerial portfolios and announced she wouldn't stand for re-election in October. She's kept mostly quiet on social media since another post last week about it being the last sitting day of Parliament and how it had been a privilege to be the MP for East Coast.
In her most recent post Allan said over the past month she has experienced all stages of grief and has found acceptance.
She also hinted at her next steps after leaving politics saying, "there's cool stuff going on".
"All I’ll say for now is that it’s doing the stuff I’ve done my entire life, advocating for causes I care about, a focus on economic growth and development, and connecting people. The stuff I love and brings me joy. More on all that later no doubt!"
Allan also paid tribute to former Prime Minister Dame Jacinda Ardern, calling her "one of the most incredible leaders I’ve had a chance to work with".
"I love you mate, and am forever grateful for the opportunities you gave me personally, but mostly for the way you led in some of our darkest hours - with deep aroha for those in need, and courage to make decisions in some of the worst times we’ve seen recently (sic)."
She also thanked her former fiancée Māni Dunlop, her family and several friends in the post.
Allan had a rocky end to her career which started in March when RNZ hosted a farewell event for Allan's then-fiancée, Māni Dunlop, who was leaving the organisation. During the event, Allan criticised RNZ's culture and treatment of Māori staff.
Allan later apologised for these comments saying she accepts there is "not such a delineation in terms of public perception" and also that it could have been interpreted as "me telling RNZ how to manage their staff or company".
Just a month later, it was revealed then Race Relations Commissioner Meng Foon had donated thousands of dollars to Allan in the lead-up to the 2020 General Election, which the MP hadn't declared.
Two months later at the end of June, a public servant with years of experience told Stuff Allan "yelled and screamed" at her during a phone call and was so loud staff in the office could hear her. Allan has "strongly" rejected the accusations.
Those allegations came after the Department of Conservation confirmed a staffer seconded to Allan's office chose to leave amid concerns about working relationships there more than a year ago.
This saw Allan take time off for mental health reasons before returning to work to respond to the allegations, which she rejected and added no formal complaints had been made.
Everything came to a head when it was revealed Allan stepped down from all of her portfolios effective immediately after being charged with careless driving and refusing to accompany a police officer following the car crash.
