Stealthing is a form of sexual assault estimated to have happened to a tenth of the population and there are rising calls for it to be explicitly recognised as a form of rape.
The practice involves someone secretly removing or breaking a condom during sex without their partner's consent, and the sexual abuse support foundation HELP says its more common than you think.
"We don't think it's limited to any portion of the population. We think it's going on fairly widely, and it has for a very long time. It's nothing new really," HELP executive director Kathryn McPhillips told Newshub Nation.
One area where the practice is prevalent is in sex work, and spokesperson for The New Zealand Prostitutes Collective (NZPC) Cherida Fraser says they are fielding increased reports.
"It's non-consensual and it's deliberate and it's really disempowering. People feel violated. They feel assaulted and they feel like their consent is totally invalidated."
And it's not just happening to sex workers. HELP is hearing reports of condom sabotage during casual encounters and inside relationships.
"You are in effect saying to someone that what they want doesn't matter, their body doesn't matter. That their will doesn't matter. You are making them into nothing," says McPhillips.
The highest profile accusation of stealthing was levelled against Wikileaks founder Julian Assange. It's one of the sexual assault allegations eventually dropped by Sweden while he holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy in London.
US studies found 12 percent of women had experienced stealthing, and 10 percent of men admitted to doing it. An Australian survey of people who used a sexual health service was even more alarming.
One in three women and one in five men who have sex with men said they had been stealthed - but just 1 percent reported it. McPhillips says there is a broader issue with low rates of reporting for sexual assault in general.
"I think there can be added confusion or a lack of a sense that this would be taken seriously because we don't talk about it widely."
However police say they do take reports of condom sabotage seriously.
"You could be charged, and you could be convicted of sexual violation. Sexual violation covers a penalty of 20 years imprisonment," Det Insp David Kirby told Newshub Nation.
But despite its apparent prevalence, New Zealand has only just had its first successful prosecution for stealthing. A man was convicted of rape this year for removing a condom while having sex with a sex worker. It was a landmark case for New Zealand.
"This is a really powerful message and power signal to sex workers everywhere that they will be treated fairly and without stigma by the justice system," says Fraser.
"It's also a really powerful message to people who aren't sex workers that cases of stealthing can be convicted as rape."
Because the woman offended against was a sex worker, there was a clear - and legal - obligation for the client to wear a condom. It was easy to prove to the jury that consent was contingent on condom use.
Without a change to the law, the same guilty verdict might not be applied where victims aren't sex workers.
"It is going to be more difficult, and I do think other people are going to be less likely to have their cases taken to trial," says Waikato University law lecturer Paulette Benton-Greig.
"We might consider making changes to the law to make it clearer to juries that they can convict in these kinds of cases."
California is leading the way. It's about to legislate against stealthing as a form of sexual battery, making it illegal to remove a condom during sex without verbal consent. All the advocates Newshub Nation spoke to want to see law reform here too.
"The legislation as it stands isnt enough for any of us and for any sexual assault to be honest”, says McPhillips.
"The law really needs attention. It needs significant attention as soon as possible."
"It would be really useful to specify explicitly that you don't consent to sexual activity when it's being misrepresented as to whether a prophylactic or condom is being used," says Fraser.
And while the law plays its part, public education is key.
"I think we have opportunities here for teaching young people in particular that condom sabotage is not a joke. It's really serious for health and criminal reasons," says Benton-Grieg.
"Everybody needs to know this is not okay," says McPhillips.
Justice Minister Kris Faafoi told Newshub Nation it's too early to say whether the law will be reformed.
Any change to the legislation will require both public pressure and political will.
That will only happen as awareness of this physically and emotionally damaging practice increases.
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