To quote 'Gus' Gould - no, no, no, no, no!
Why does rugby league constantly give itself a black eye with the idiocy that is 'Mad Monday'?
Being a professional sportsman isn't easy, and it comes with plenty of pressure and complications.
But if you're an NRL player, there are only a few certainties - you'll have to catch, pass and tackle - and getting smashed in public on Mad Monday cannot ever end well.
The Bulldogs are the latest club to be embarrassed by end-of-season celebrations, with photos splashed all over the front and back page of Australian newspaper the
Daily Telegraph, including a player buck naked, another passed out on the footpath and another spewing by a dumpster.
I am no saint. I am not even slightly offended that people get drunk.
I've done stupid things on the drink in my time and chances are I may do something stupid again one day.
But if I was to go to this extent in public as part of a Mediaworks team-building exercise and it became a national talking point, it's highly likely my job would be under threat.
So why should a footballer be able to hide behind the 'boys will be boys' mentality?
When you know your industry and those involved in your profession are particularly under the microscope at a certain time of the year, you'd need rocks in your head to be unprepared for it.
You can have an opinion on whether photographers should be stalking out footballers or celebrities in the hope they stuff up, but to a man, every player KNOWS it's going to happen. They can't be surprised about it, surely?
So why put yourself in a position to give the 'vultures' what they want?
It's almost an annual event for Mad Monday to spill into embarrassing scenes for the sport. So when will they learn?
Put it this way, after the infamous panty-sniffer on TV show Target back in 2012, what other carpet cleaner (or tradesman or human being) would have thought they could do the same without any consequences?
That bloke tarred everyone in his industry with the same brush.
Of course players can have a drink and blow off steam. Of course people are entitled to make mistakes.
But there's a difference between spilling a drink on someone or looking worse for wear, and taking your clothes off in a pub and your mate shaking hands with your private parts.
Throwing up in public isn't a sackable offence, but when you're given all the warning in the world about how to behave in a certain situation and you still ignore it, what does that say about how seriously you take it?
There's one way to make players sit up and take notice. The next player to cross that line - and I mean really cross it - on Mad Monday should have their contract torn up.
Every NRL contract makes reference to bringing the club and code into disrepute. That's primarily around criminal activity, but doesn't this count as damaging the reputation?
Watch the attitude and behaviour change after that. The consequences need to be strong enough to deter the actions.
It's like spear tackles and unprovoked punches. They were illegal for years, but it wasn't until the bans were made more severe that players started changing their ways.
It's extreme and no one wants to see someone lose their job - but the NRL integrity unit has to do something to stop what is an ongoing issue.
Yep, back in the day, players and people from all walks of life used to get away with murder by comparision, but rightly or wrongly, those days are gone. Social media and papparazzi style media have ruined the fun of many a famous person.
Players get paid big money to be a professional athlete. Big bucks and big profile comes with big responsibility.
Anyone who becomes a sports pro in this day and age has to know that comes with the territory, when they make the choice to follow that path.
There would be a ton of 25-year-olds who would love to play footy and get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for it. If you told them it meant they couldn't get starkers in public, they'd probably not be too fazed by it.
There is a simple answer - all clubs should be in control of their Mad Monday celebrations. Do it somewhere private, away from prying eyes and insist that no players kick on at other venues.
But heading to the Rocks in Sydney is the equivilent of having your boozy night in the middle of Courtenay Place in Wellington or the Viaduct in Auckland - you're only inviting trouble.
I love rugby league and admire anyone tough enough to grace the NRL field, but anyone who's passionate about the sport is embarrassed by Mad Monday antics.
Stop the madness.
Sam Ackerman is Newshub head of sport.
