Blackcaps paceman Trent Boult admits he's been replaying critical moments of the Cricket World Cup final over and over in his mind.
Monday's (NZT) match went to a 'super over', after both England and New Zealand scored 241 from 50 overs. The host team were ultimately declared the winners, due to their superior boundary count in the Lord's final.
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Boult played a significant role in the closing stages of the match. When England needed 22 runs off 10 balls, he accidentally stood on the boundary rope, trying to catch Ben Stokes, instead awarding England six runs that helped them back into the contest.
Then the 29-year-old was tasked with bowling the final over in England's chase - and the super over as well.
Boult was among a handful of players to return to New Zealand on Thursday and the left-arm seamer said "we're all hurting and sorry for letting everyone down".
"It's been a long flight home, but [the defeat] probably hasn't sunk in yet," said Boult. "I wish it would, so we can all get over it, but it's one of those things that we probably won't get over for a long time.
"It's natural to nitpick, to wonder about all those little things and how it could have been a different game.
"I've been living that last over in my mind a lot - somehow I got hit for six along the ground, which has never happened before. To see the scores level [after the 'super over'] and still lose was a pretty unique situation.
"It was an amazing stage to be on. We saw what it meant to the Englishmen to get across the line - it could have been us, but unfortunately wasn't.
"You see a lot of disappointment among cricket fans who wanted us to win. It's a shame to let everyone down."
Speaking about his catch of Stokes that ended up going for six runs, Boult said crowd noise drowned out teammate Martin Guptill's warning that the boundary rope was close.
As Boult fell backwards, his left foot clipped the rope and he then threw the ball towards Guptill, but it was too late.
"Standing on the rope in the 49th over didn't help. We wanted to leave them as many as possible in the end.
"The priority in that situation is on the ball itself, so that was all I was worried about. It was silly of me not to know where the rope was.
"It was similar to the catch against the West Indies earlier in the tournament, but they're quite quirky boundaries over there [at Lord's]. They're not circles, they're kind of octagons and squares and all sorts of things.
"You can imagine the feeling when my left shoe hit the cushion and it was too late to throw the ball to Marty. There was probably 27,000 intoxicated Poms in there, screaming as the ball went up, so I couldn't hear anything Marty was saying."
Boult also wasn't aware of the rules that sent the match into the super over only finding out when England needed three runs off the final two balls to win.
"I actually didn't know there was going to be a 'super over' in the World Cup final. It is hard to swallow.
"When I saw three off two, that's when the umpires said it would be going to a super over. We had a job to defend three off two and we did that, and then super over it was - crazy game to be part of."
Boult said the result hurt much more than losing in the 2015 World Cup final to Australia in Melbourne.
"To have it in our own backyard in 2015, in front of our family and friends, and the hype that comes with a home tournament, you can't escape it.
"Over there, it's a different time zone, different parts of the day. We didn't hear much of what was going one back home, unless you scouted it out, but it was a great tournament and to get so close hurts the most.
"The final in 2015 was a no-show in my opinion. We were outplayed from the first couple of overs and it didn't hurt as much as the other day did.
The Blackcaps will spend a few days back in New Zealand, before flying out to Sri Lanka for two tests and three T20s, starting on August 14.
Boult said he planned to spend plenty of time with the one friend who wouldn't be mad at him.
"I'm going to go home for the first time in four months, walk my dog along the beach. I'm sure he won't be angry at me.
"We have a short turnout before we head to Sri Lanka and we'll be back in the saddle.
"It won't be something that just disappears. It will be something that will be hard to swallow for the next couple of years."
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