Former Wales rugby captain Gareth Thomas has revealed that he is HIV positive, declaring he wants to "break the stigma" around the condition.
Thomas, who came out as gay in 2009, is thought to be the first UK sportsman to go public about living with the virus.
He went public with his illness after being put "through hell" by blackmailers who threatened to expose his secret.
The 45-year-old posted a video to share the news and spoke to the Sunday Mirror about how he driven to suicidal thoughts as a result of his diagnosis.
"I've been living with this secret for years," he said.
"I've felt shame and keeping such a big secret has taken its toll."
"I was in a dark place, feeling suicidal. I thought about driving off a cliff.
"To me, wanting to die was just a natural thought and felt like the easier way out, but you have to confront things."
Thomas, who played 103 tests and scored 41 tries for Wales between 1995 and 2007, said he "broke down" when he got the news of his diagnosis.
"I went for a routine sexual health test at a private clinic in Cardiff. I didn't feel ill and thought everything was going to be fine.
"When the doctor said those words... I immediately thought I was going to die.
"I felt like an express train was hitting me at 300mph.
"Then I was thinking 'how long have I got left?'"
Last November, he was attacked in Cardiff city centre in a homophobic hate crime, but asked South Wales Police to deal with the 16-year-old assailant by way of restorative justice.
The sportsman now takes one tablet containing four medications each day, and doctors have said his condition is under control to the point that it is considered "undetectable" and cannot be passed on.
Thomas said that his partner - Stephen - who he met after his diagnosis and married three years ago, does not have HIV.
He said he hopes that his openness will help end the stigma around condition.
"I'm speaking out because I want to help others and make a difference.
"I hope me speaking out about my diagnosis will help a lot of people."
Where to find help and support:
- Need to Talk? - Call or text 1737
- Lifeline - 0800 543 354 or (09) 5222 999 within Auckland
- Youthline - 0800 376 633, text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz or online chat
- Samaritans - 0800 726 666
- Depression Helpline - 0800 111 757
- Suicide Crisis Helpline - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
PA
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