Former All Blacks hooker Corey Flynn admits he hijacked his own international career with a bad attitude.
Despite 150 Super rugby games with the Crusaders, Flynn, now 41, made just 15 test appearances for New Zealand over nine years plagued with injury and pure stubbornness.
He gets another shot at rugby redemption, as a star of Three's Match Fit reality show, offering former All Blacks a chance to reclaim some of their glory years after retirement.
"On Wednesday, I thought I'd better see if I could still throw a ball," he told his TV teammates. "Everything was out of whack and I thought, 'Here we go, I've got the yips already'."
At 21, Flynn made his test debut at the 2003 Rugby World Cup, but concedes now he never fulfilled his potential in the black jersey, partly due to a spate of arm, shoulder and ankle injuries.
"I was probably too young and didn't respect it enough," he added. "I never had to do my time.
"I had a lot of personal anger directed at coaches, because of non-selections and stuff like that. I was a little bit of a ratbag and paid the price for that.
"There was a lot of drinking and I went into self-sabotage mode. I hit the bottom.
"I wasn't interested in working as hard as I needed to, whereas if I had actually knuckled down and corrected the stuff that I was asked to correct, I probably would have been a lot better off. I didn't and it took a number of years for me to see the light."
Flynn maintained his Crusaders teammates helped him through the darkest times, with coaches Todd Blackadder and Dave Hewitt his "ambulance" during that period.
"I always say a lesson is worth learning if you learn from it - I learnt my lesson and became a better person.
"Putting on the All Blacks jersey, when I was able to get it again, that was like my second coming. I was really able to enjoy it and respect it - and I didn't want to leave it."
Fittingly, Flynn left the black jersey as he arrived - at the 2011 World Cup, won by New Zealand on home soil - and currently works in the construction industry.
He has kept himself in pretty good nick and, considering his injury setbacks during his career, Flynn was one of the few Match Fit stars to emerge relatively unscathed from their hitout against East Coast in this week's episode three.
Catch up on Match Fit season two on THREENOW and watch every week Wednesday’s 7:30pm on THREE
