All Blacks midfielder Anton Lienert-Brown has opened up on the mental toll the biggest injury setback of his career has taken, as he prepares to return to rugby six months after shoulder surgery.
The 27-year-old was injured during the Chiefs' loss to the Blues in round eight of Super Rugby Pacific back in early April.
Lienert-Brown is available for selection for Waikato's NPC quarter-final this weekend, but his time away from rugby has given him a deeper appreciation for the game he loves and for the time he still has playing it.
"I'm feeling refreshed, I'm feeling fit and pretty strong," Lienert-Brown told Newshub.
But it's Lienert-Brown's mental strength that's undergone the biggest test during his lengthy spell on the sidelines.
"It's probably taught me to never take rugby for granted," he admitted. "Every time you run out and play, it could be the last time you play."
And he isn't prepared to confront that reality any time soon. The Christchurch product is passionate about rugby. It's been his only job since he left high school, and he admits not being able to do it for the past six months has taken its toll.
"I'm just a human being like anyone else and there's no straight line to life," Lienert-Brown said.
"There's been tough days in the gym and when there's no end prize each week with the game, it can be tougher."
Rather than feel sorry for himself, Lienert-Brown has kept the bigger picture in mind, celebrating the little wins, whether in the pool or the gym.
"Having a vision or knowing where I want to go is important, because when you start training four months out, it's a long time until you're going to play again," he noted.
"You've got to remind yourself that you're doing it for a reason."
That reason is his passion. His purpose, as he calls it.
The silver lining of a testing period on the sidelines has been a timely reminder of just how much he loves playing rugby.
"Certainly the lesson is that rugby gives me an enormous sense of purpose, and when I get back into it I definitely won't take it for granted."
