Martin Guptill has revealed the rollercoaster ride he's been on for the last few weeks.
Earlier this week, the veteran Blackcaps opener opted out of his NZ Cricket contract - giving him no reassurance of future selection, though allowing him to look at other opportunities.
So, why now? And how would he feel if this really is it?
"[It's been] a tough week," Guptill told Newshub. "It's obviously a new beginning for me."
That admission comes after the veteran batter decided to look at other endevours elsewhere.
Being left on the sidelines at the T20 World Cup, before being dropped entirely for India's current tour here though made that call easier.
"I just feel like it was the right time to make this decision."
Though he maintains there's no animosity from New Zealand Cricket, and captain Kane Williamson.
"I haven't heard too much [from Williamson] he continued. "He's in the middle of a series as well.
"I understand he's got to prepare for and be in the right frame of mind for that."
The first of what's expected to be several ventures, was announced on Friday, that he'd signed with Australian Big Bash franchise Melbourne Renegades.
Though maintains he's not done scoring runs for New Zealand with next year's World Cup in India in his thoughts.
"Obviously I'd love to be there and be part of the team and playing.
"But there's still a lot of things between now and then."
But if this is the end of his time in the Black Caps?
"It'd be sad, that's for sure," he added. "Nearly 14 years, and if that was it, that's it.
"I'd be pretty gutted, but the door's still open."
A door many fans would love to see Guptill walk back through.
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