Kiwi-Nigerian Israel Adesanya has revealed the weight of expectations he puts on himself, before his highly anticipated middleweight title defence at UFC 281 on Sunday (NZT).
'The Last Stylebender' will fight longtime rival Alex Pereira for the first time in mixed martial arts, after previously fighting in kickboxing, losing both.
Since signing with the UFC, Adesanya's reign in the middleweight division has been nothing short of dominant, with five straight title defences, since winning the undisputed crown in 2019.
He hasn't escaped criticism from fans for his inability to finish recent fights, with his previous five of six going the distance.
His last fight - a unanimous decision win over Jared Cannonier at UFC 276 in Las Vegas - saw Adesanya on the receiving end of boos from those at T-Mobile Arena.
Despite the outcry, Adesanya was pleased with the victory, even if he didn't finish his opponent like he had hoped.
"I don't hold onto things," Adesanya told The MMA Hour. "I let myself feel them.
"People try to deny things and block it. If you fight your emotions they'll get you later on, so I feel it.
"I cried backstage. Me and [coach] Eugene [Bareman] hugged it out, and he told me, 'Don't worry, you'll be fine'.
"I was like, 'Just give me a bourbon, I'll be fine', so I expressed it, felt it and I let it go. It's a good way to release emotions... it relaxes you.
"It's just a normal human function, I don't know why we shame it.
"[I was] upset at myself for what I wanted to do. People mistake it, but this is not about other people - this is about me.
"I did the Undertaker walkout and I had this Miyamoto Musashi mentality, like I'm going to make him wait, because I don't think it's going to last long.
"Then I get there and I'm a little bit frustrated during the fight, trying to figure out how to take this guy. I've said it many times, his corner, wow, MMA Lab beautiful, because they saved him.
"They'd see things I was setting up and call it, and I'm just like, 'F***, OK, they can see that coming'. They saved him a lot and he's a good student for listening to them as well.
"For me, it was just the pressure I put on myself, because it was International Fight Week. I'm like, 'Damn, I want to f****** take this to the next level, after I smoke this guy'.
"I felt like I didn't smoke this guy, but I beat him quite easily - easily. For me, it's the expectations I put on myself, that's what."
Adesanya looks forward to putting on a show against somebody he believes should thank him for his meteoric rise inside UFC.
With just three fights in the organisation to his name, Pereira will contest the middleweight belt - one year since making his UFC 268 debut - but Adesanya plans to end the rivalry once and for all on Sunday.
"Without me, he wouldn't be here," he said. "Without me, he would've been exposed a long time ago.
"I cleared the way. I cleared the division, so there was not really anyone else to fight - I cleared the way for him to get to the top.
"It's personal - this is about me and my legacy. This is about rewriting history, even though it is history and I never chased this.
"This is about me rewriting a new path in history and just showing people what I can really do, because, again, y'all must have forgot.
"This is personal. I've said less.
"He can do all the tennis ball videos and hoverboard, but for me, I'm just like, 'Cool, you do you'.
"He has bragging rights, so let him do that, but yeah."
Join us on Sunday for live updates of UFC 281, featuring Kiwis Israel Adesanya, Dan Hooker, Brad Riddell and Carlos Ulberg
