Coach Dame Noeline Taurua hasn't hidden her frustrations, after New Zealand fell to a second-string England in their Taini Jamison series opener.
The Silver Ferns made their disappointment clear that England had fielded a weakened outfit, but the Roses had the last laugh with a 55-54 victory at Christchurch to lead the three-test series 1-0.
The result is just the latest hurt for Dame Noeline, who led the NZ team to a fourth-placed finish at this year's Netball World Cup in South Africa, their lowest finish at the game's showpiece event.
Leading 43-37 into the final quarter, a fast finish from England ultimately saw the visitors take bragging rights, leaving the Ferns with questions to answer and just days to fix the errors that plagued them.
Dame Noeline has held her hands up, as her side continue to struggle in 2023.
"We can wallow about us, but also we've got to give credit to England," she said. "They've been together for eight weeks and been in a centralised programme.
"They showed their hunger. We just weren't good enough on the day.
"We're saying exactly the same things that we've been saying. Unfortunately, we're not learning.
"We'll have to feel the pain more, until we play the next game, which is test two, and have another opportunity."
However, Dame Noeline also defends her squad, the bulk of which are made up of players from this year's World Cup campaign.
Realistically, only Grace Nweke (injured), Te Paea Selby-Rickit and Gina Crampton (both unavailable) could be considered as genuine starters missing from the squad, as the Ferns look to build depth for the coming years.
Dame Noeline is prepared to experience short-term pain for long-term gain, even with her own future uncertain at the highest level.
"This is what we've got," she added. "I can't pull anything else out of anywhere else.
"They're very proud about who they are and representing the Silver Ferns. There's still that level of learning we've got to be able to do, [to find] that ruthlessness, that competitive edge, that hardness that we just don't have at the moment.
"We'll continue to find that disappointment and the hurt by putting product out there like that. If we have to continue doing that, there must be a time where we've got to be able to stand up.
"We can only be accountable for our actions. This is the best that we have in New Zealand, we've got to support them.
"We know we'll take it on the chin and we've got to keep going."
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