Blackcaps captain Tim Southee hasn't held back in his appraisal of the pitch offered up for the second test against Bangladesh at Dhaka.
Down 0-1 in the best of two series, New Zealand held on to take victory on day four, with an unbeaten 70-run stand between Glenn Phillips and Mitchell Santner getting them over the line.
Despite the result coming in three days - the second day was washed out by rain - the state of the surface doesn't mask an uneven contest.
Speaking after his side's win, Southee was frank in his assessment of what his side faced.
"There's a number of ways I could describe that wicket," he said. "For the match to be over in 170 overs is a fair reflection of that wicket.
"It wasn't great. It certainly wasn't an even battle between bat and ball.
"It's probably the worst wicket I've come across in my career. Like I say, the balance between bat and ball was heavily favoured into the bowlers' hands.
"For the match to be over in 170 overs reflects that. For our guys to scrap and come away with a win was very pleasing."
When Bangladesh captain Najmul Hossain Shanto won the toss on day one, the decision to bat first was more about avoiding batting last.
As is Bangladesh's right for a home test, the pitch was specifically tailored to suit the hosts' spin attack and produced a match that lasted just 1069 balls, the shortest completed test played in the nation.
From the opening session, balls turned square - a sight normally seen on days four and five of a conventional wicket, by western standards.
The pitch was so unpredictable, Blackcaps wicketkeeper Tom Blundell, usually an assured gloveman, conceded nine byes across both Bangladesh innings.
Of the 36 wickets to fall, just five were taken by the seamers, with Southee snaring two and Bangladesh's Shoriful Islam taking three.
In the past, teams have been heavily criticised for questioning Asian spinning pitches after defeats, with cries of sour grapes over hosts making the most of their home advantage.
Sides slamming home advantage in test cricket is nothing new.
New Zealand's inaugural World Test Championship success was largely based on an incredible home record, with pitches that favoured the Blackcaps seam attack.
While Southee has criticised the conditions on offer in Bangladesh, preserving the unique challenges of each nation is a vital part of test cricket as a global game.
"If you look around the world, it's so hard to win away from home these days," he continued. "The conditions are obviously suited to the home side.
"Bangladesh have shown over the years that they're an ever-improving side in all three formats. They're a tough side at home in these conditions.
"We knew coming here was a tough place to come, but if you look around the world, you go to India and it's a tough place to win. You go to Australia, it's such a tough place to win.
"Sides have come to New Zealand, it's a tough place to win. To play test cricket and win away from home, it's a tough effort."
