Silver Ferns captain Ameliaranne Ekenasio admits some sadness around the timing of her decision to bypass next month's Nations Cup in England.
After a busy - and sometimes difficult - year of wall-to-wall netball, the veteran shooter has signalled her intention to skip the national team's next appointment with England, Australia and Uganda at the four-team tournament next month.
Her decision may mean she's already played her last test under inspirational NZ coach Dame Noeline Taurua, whose current contract ends with this campaign.
Handed the reins after a disastrous 2018 Commonwealth Games result, Taurua breathed fresh life into the NZ women's programme, guiding them to a World Cup crown the following year and maintain some momentum through the troublesome COVID-19 years.
This year saw the Ferns take a step backwards, losing star shooter Grace Nweke to injury during poolplay and ultimately slumping to their worst World Cup finish ever, placing fourth.
After the Constellation Cup series against Australia, Dame Noeline and Netball NZ agreed to extend her tenure a few more months, as she considered her future.
"Noels is someone I respect so, so much," Ekenasio told Newshub. "I'm hoping she will stay, but it definitely will be really sad if I haven't played the last one she'll be coaching.
"Who knows what she's going to do, but when I was debating for a very long time, for weeks in my head, I had to make it about myself.
"What was true for me, not in regards to what other people were doing."
Ekenasio, 32, has stepped away from the Ferns to spend the summer with her young family - son Ocean (6) and daughter Luna (2), before throwing herself back into the ANZ Premiership for Waikato-Bay of Plenty Magic.
"It's been a really big year and I felt like I needed some time away to just be a mum for a little bit," she said. "Every single year, we're away so much, so the juggle of having a family definitely takes its toll in every single way.
"My family have just sacrificed a lot for me to be able go play and for my career to happen, so it's just time to give them a little bit of time back."
With vice-captain Gina Crampton also on sabbatical, Dame Noeline will need to look elsewhere for leadership of her Nations Cup squad.
