You've heard it all before - New Zealand brews above its weight when it comes to coffee.
But now there's video proof of what I can only described as the worst coffee I've ever seen or tasted.
I won't name the outlet that served me this alleged drink, but I will say it's in Heathrow's Terminal 2.
The video says it all. The liquid resembles porridge more than it does coffee, and believe it or not, it had actually thinned out by the time I filmed it. The soy flat white plops off the spoon like lumpy gravy.
I alerted the staff to this coffee disaster I was experiencing. Surely they need to know the poor quality their barista is serving up? Their response was even more frightening than the sight of this poor thick mug of coffee.
"That's what happens with soy milk, it just goes thick," the very annoyed waiter told me.
I disagreed and told him that I myself have made a smoother coffee than the one they'd served up. So he finally agreed to take it back to the counter. New coffee and problem sorted right? Wrong.
He returned with the coffee and told me the barista insisted that this is how a soy flat white should be served.
"That will be £3."
So why was the coffee so bad?
These bad brews happen when the soy milk isn't warmed up before being poured in to the cup. The result is a drink that's more of a miso soup than a caffeine kick.
It's not a problem exclusive to the UK. I've experienced the same in the US, where Starbucks can often be the unlikely coffee saviour for Kiwi tourists.
Thankfully, there's a handful of New Zealanders who have started a caffeine revolution in London, opening cafes like Flat White and Milkbar in Soho.
But when out of Soho, I found myself heading to the nearest Pret A Manger, where at least I knew what I was getting.
I did have some great coffee experiences on my tiki-tour of the UK though. The best one was from a tiny little stand called Piece of Cake at the Belfast railway station.
So next time you take-off on a long flight to the other side of the world, you may have to search for a decent coffee kick to wake you up when you get there.
And be warned about ordering a coffee with soy milk.
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