Lorde says she is "living with heartbreak again" and "aches all the time" in a dramatic new email sent to fans.
In the note, entitled "how I've been, revised", the 'Royals' hitmaker shared she would be heading back to Aotearoa soon as she was "starting to miss my friends and family, like a vitamin I'm deficient in".
She also seemed to confirm she had split from music executive boyfriend Justin Warren.
"It's different but the same. I ache all the time, I forget why and then remember. I'm not trying to hide from the pain, I understand now that pain isn't something to hide from, that there's actually great beauty in moving with it. But sometimes I'm sick of being with myself," she wrote.
The 'Green Light' singer hinted that she was suffering physically, too, saying that her "body was really inflamed".
"It's trying to tell me something and I'm trying to support it but nothing seems to help and I get frustrated. My gut isn't working properly, my skin is worse than ever, I've gotten sick half a dozen times. I realised earlier this year that listening to my body is hard for me, it's something I never really learned how to do," she confessed.
Lorde also revealed she stopped taking an unnamed "yellow pill" she had been taking daily since she was 15. She is now 26.
"The little yellow pill I took every morning for thousands of mornings since I was 15, I stopped taking it five days ago. Gonna see how it goes," she said, without giving more details on the medicine.
However, despite the pain she said she was experiencing, she also said: "I'm gonna look back on this year with fondness and a bit of awe, knowing it was the year that locked everything into place, the year that transitioned me from my childhood working decade to the one that comes next."
The email update ended with a plea to fans to not "worry" about her.
"I still laugh every day, it's all moving, even when it goes slow. I've accepted the mission - I have a self to recover," she said.
